Turning A Corner

Chronicles of Little Han 01

2006-05-09T19:20:00.000+08:00

Lord of the Rings.

2006-05-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

hiya people,

Got a question. u know..

If u were a chick in the Lord of the Rings era..

Would u sleep with a) Aragon or b) Legolas?

This is Aragon, a descendant of the lost line of ancient kings.

Legolas, some elf from Mirkwood.

and who the hell is Eunice Lum?

2006-04-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

One day you ve got it? u know..

the next.. u re sitting on the couch alone at home channel-surfing on a lovely Saturday night. loser. But. u know. Have u ever wondered why do some people fade into obscurity as quickly as they rise to prominence in ur life?

And who the hell is Eunice Lum?

On the World Wide Web that is also affectionately known as the Internet, romance is f**king hard to find. u know. Really horrendous, obese girls lie about their weight, gay boys pretend to be hot chicks as they chat up other hot-blooded jocks, social sites like friendsters got u hooked online for hours as u attempt to locate ur childhood sweetheart, and despite what the regulatory authorities may claim, online porn has unquestionably remained the sole reason why the Internet was invented in the first place.

Okay, actually the last one was made up. In fact, all of them are made up.. just that the last one was really really made up. Hahaa.

on a serious note though, there remains one phenomenon guaranteed to make the heart flutter a bit and hairs on the back of the neck stand up: the emergence of that dream girl, the sight of that chick who actually replied to ur messages. genuinely. u know.

But then, for every ?Eunice Lum?, there is a melancholic flip side. Just as many people wistfully recall great corners turned wrongly, most internet geeks have their lost online love: the really hot chick whose replies never fail to set their hearts beating. The hot chick whom they could have lived the rest of their lives with. The hot chick who turned out to be a really fat and ugly ?babe? who doesnt shave her legs. Or worse, a he.

Ask any internet geek and they will reveal their own versions . But at least, it brought them nirvana. For a bit. Before they got hurt. Truth hurts. a lot. u know.

So, before u decide to fall in love with that new girl u got to know online, u ve got to weight ur options, especially when u do not have any. u know. There are no guarantees, but there are definitely exceptions. Eunice is one of them. lovely.

The seductively infinite potential of the promise of love is the essence why the internet is so popular. And why the failure of one after another ?relationships? is so heart-rending. (besides the fact that porn is still, and will always be the no.1 thingy online :P)

And for such issues, unless u ve been there urself, u know... u cant understand it.

Ultimately, perhaps, u can definitely just happen to stumble upon that very special someone on the Internet, although some Internet geeks are simply transfixed by misfortunate.

In 1996, a very young lad spent hours online with a really hot chick and thought that he would want to spend the rest of his life watching grass grow with her. He wanted to do nothing except rush home after school to be with her. He loved her. a lot. I think.

Until one day, he decided to print out her picture and show it to his friends. He had nothing in his mind, he just wanted to announce to the rest of the world that he loves her. A lot.

Just as he was printing it out, her mum walked in and was appalled.

The Internet connection was cancelled the following working day.

The love ended. The relationship was over.

Come on! He is only 13 and its the first time he saw a naked woman. and she was smiling seductively at him. I mean? its okay to mistood that for love right? (was it just me or does everyone feel the same too? Hahaa)

porn at 13.

Then again.. I am at my best at digressing again.

What I actually wanted to say was that Eunice Lum is a very lovely girl. And she actually told me this very afternoon that she loves me to bits and would even actually watch grass grow with me. albeit its metaphorically, and not literally..

but what the heck. I totally dig her.

i can play football

2006-03-24T03:23:00.000+08:00

oh by the way.. i love football just as much.. u know.. and 427 other things..

Doesnt matter if u dont have the skills.. Passion is all u need.

427 hobbies: Mahjong

2006-03-24T03:08:00.000+08:00

One of the 427 hobbies that I have: Mahjong.

A hobby.. u know.. is typically defined as an activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation.. and is engaged primarily, for pleasure.

Therefore, i think i am kind of right to conclude that a hobby can be a way of relieving stress.. u know.. kind of like ?getting away from it all?. But then.. the problem is.. what is it that u are getting away from? Why is there the need to be distracted? U know.. are u running away from something? (these are.. by the way.. rhetorical questions.. there is no need to seek an answer for them..)

well.. think about those people who fish? or play games all day in front of the computer? and dont... dont get me started on those geeks who collect stamps..

anyway.. hobbies can be a little bit fun.. but u know.. they tend to get us off ?the path?.. so to speak.. its like they are the poor substitutes for real accomplishments.. u know.

I ve always had countless hobbies growing up.. u know.. and i was always seeking out new ones.. kind of like an attempt to fill a certain void which I didnt want to admit was there.. u see.. I didnt want to grow up.. I didnt want to wake up from my dream.. I didnt want to realize that I am no longer sheltered by an asylum known to the rest of the world, simply, as ?childhood?.

and anyway, for ur information... I have no idea why I mentioned the above..

u know.. in fact, I just want to touch on one of my 427 hobbies.. which is mahjong.

Some might define mahjong as an evil form of gambling.. okay.. whichever form of gambling isnt evil.

however.. i dont think so.

Mahjong is a great tool to use as u figure and find ur way out of ur ?childhood?. It teaches us to be flexible.. to make the best out of which-ever situation.. u know. It also makes sense of all the statistical studies and correlations which we picked up someway along our imposed education. and in life.. there is always an element of luck to it too...

A hobby gets our minds off life.. but mahjong, it enhances life.

u know.. it teaches us various lessons.. such as to adapt and change according to the current circumstances.. but most of all.. for me? it teaches me not to settle for less.

Take for example u current have 3 ?tais? on hand.. but its possible to make it a maximum of 5 ?tais?? what do u do? Do u accept mediocrity and try to game as soon as possible?

Hell no!

Of course u try to make it 5 ?tais?? okay I know people always play with their mates and when they win.. they win their mates? dosh.. but hey.. arent ur mates trying to pry ur dosh away from u in the first place?

Would they think that winning too much dosh during the game isnt good for friendship and so they down-grade just for u?

Well.. maybe..

but then.. u know .. in the harsh realities of life.. that doesnt happen.. no chance.. not even in hell!

and doesnt that make mahjong a stressful game?

Well.. in relation to real life.. that?s nothing..

And speaking of the stress.. I thrive on the stress of the game. In fact.. I love the emotions of mahjong? and of course the 'trash-talking' and the 'play-acting'. u know.. when u ?zhi mo? a maximum tai game? u cant find a better feeling.. that is like the best feeling in the world u can experience.. okay.. my ex girl-friends might disagree with that statement.. but what the heck.. :P

and thats part of the reason why I play the game.. the first time I did that ?maximum game?.. I was hooked.. it was sheer euphoria..

its not the money won or lost that matters.. u know.. people who dont play the game dont understand how important it is to win..

Its similar to the drive to excel in the tasks that u embark on.. u might think that I am a tad too competitive? but think about it.. the moment u lose.. or suck at something which u are really involved.. no amount of money can buy away that sense of disappointment u are feeling.. u could have great grades and a really hot girl-friend.. or a sleek set of wheels or whatever..but if u ve lost.. u just dont care about it.. u do not even see or bother about how complete or wonderful ur life is..

People might think that they feel terrible when they lose.. but I can promise u that.. however bad they felt.. I am feeling it twice as much.

Hahaa.. come to think of it.. it seems like a terrible plight to be seated at a square table with 3 other players..

Maybe I shall go to bed and start collecting stamps from tomorrow onwards..

Goodnight.

What drives you?

2006-03-22T21:59:00.000+08:00

what drives you? U know..what really drives you in this life?

Think hard about that for a minute.

I sincerely hope that something do drives you, though I know that some people just arent driven at all, arent compelled to do whatever it is they want to do with their lives. They re pretty much content with mediocrity?or sometimes, even less than that. (i cant find a word to illustrate that) u know.. They re like the backseat passengers in life, taking up space and going wherever the driver takes them to? well.. at least they are better than backseat drivers(this group of people are simply sausages!).. alright I shall give them some credit then.
What drives me?

Death.

I know it sounds a tad morbid, but I dont really see it that way.. and I dont want u to too. Death drives people like me. u know.. I live with the knowledge that this.. the fun and games.. the great company u have.. the possessions in ur treasure chest.. is all going to end someday. u know?I am, in many ways, haunted by clocks and calendars. Each minute, each day goes by and they will never come back to u? and I dont gamble this life on the chance of an afterlife either.. u know.. the things u learn in churches. i ve tried to believe, but my personal conclusion is that erm.. I havent concluded yet.
Being driven by death is a double-edge sword. (live by the sword, die by the sword)

u know.. it drives you to succeed in this one life and experience things as well as explore your limits. It puts a fire under your ass when you catch yourself wasting your precious time watching re-runs of channel 8 dramas you didnt enjoy the first time.. or surfing thru friendster-profiles checking out chicks u will never get to meet...
well actually.. come to think of it.. i am also afraid of something else.. instead of death..its the rut. u know.. routines. Because when our lives get stuck in one, the ticking of the clock as the day goes by?becomes louder and much faster.

The problem is f**king clear: life is full of ruts and routines. Jobs can become ruts; relationships can become ruts. U know?human beings are programmed to follow routines; it's kind of like a survival mechanism. We tend to seek stability. But after years of supposed stability, we will only discover instead, that we ve only found stagnation.

Even the most important things in our lives, our family, or even money, can pull us into a rut. u know?people go to work, go through the motions of our daily routines, go to bed, and start over again the next day, more like wind-up robots than people. And for those of us who can hear it, the clock, the ticking gets louder.
I wrote above that I hope something drives you. But u know? maybe thats more of a curse than a blessing. Sometimes i'm really envious of those happy-go-lucky people who are happy with what they have, happy with their station in life, content simply with what is happening to them now instead of what could be happening to them. Because for them, the rut is as comfy as a raffles hotel suite bed and the clock is on silent. (probably digital instead of quartz)

as for those of us who hear the ticking, we must learn to strike a balance. But the choice is tougher to make than we once thought. our lofty teenage ideas are often clouded by the realities as we enter our 20s. The rut, the routines, are often pitted against responsibility. U know.. think about that: every time you checked the clock, you got a little reminder that this year, this day, this hour, could be the last? But ?living everyday as though it is ur last? is a little more difficult when you have to work from 8 to 6, walk ur dog, take your sis to soccer, your bro to library, and your mum from work.

The hands of the clock become a blur. Part of your mind screams for its hands to stop, and part is tempted to just get comfortable and drowsy watching their hypnotic march as ur life slips by. Part of you also worries that stopping the spinning hands might be like ur naked finger into the steel blades of the kitchen fan.

Anyway. Do u want a solution for all this? A one-liner happy conclusion? A scrap of fortune cookie wisdom that shows you the silver lining in this bleak cloud?

I dont have it for you.

I'm standing here too, watching the clock with my naked finger and a steel kitchen fan.

Remember.. we will all be dead one day.

Creative Ads

2006-03-22T20:53:00.000+08:00

Something to look forward to..

2006-03-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

Well I ve heard this saying somewhere or from someone that there are three keys to happiness:

1) Something to do

2) Someone to love

3) Something to look forward to

it sounds pretty true.. especially the last one.. u know. I read in some gay-looking mag that a yearly vacation reduces the risk of depression and illness. i mean.. what the hell??? How possibly could a week or two of bumming around half-naked on packed beaches or shopping eating shopping eating and a little bit of sight-seeing make up for the stress of the other 50 or 51 weeks of the calendar?

Come to think of it? maybe it is the fact that we look forward to our vacations that keeps us hopeful and in improved spirits. Imagine.. if you re f**king stressed, tired, unhappy, or generally pissed off at the world, simply knowing that you have a holiday coming up can settle you down quite a little bit.

u know.. u ill take a deep, deep breath and say, "Well, this sucks, but in 2 days i will be on Siloso beach, so screw it!"

Right?

Right now I am going thru some kind of a rut whereby I have to go to camp and 'go thru the motions' 5 days a week.. it sucks.. and i am very sick and tired of it.. u know.. been doing it for a year and a half now..

and recently, I ve been struck by some eye infection and I ve had quite a bit of medical leaves.. and it makes me happy.. u know.. the moment u get like ..say.. 3 days MC.. and immediately u felt better on the spot.. just like the monkey on my back, Sergio, had caught sight of another hot monkey-chick and hop off to talk her into having some 'bananas'?

But what f**k? u know that Sergio will be back in 3 days.. but still, u felt great for the moment..

Speaking of which.. I still have like about half a year or so to go before National Service ends.. but I do get to clear like a month plus of leaves and offs at the end of it.. so I look forward to that. A lot.

So at the end of this article.. what on earth am i talking about?

Take leaves every now and then, even medical leaves. Its good for you.

Have u ever wondered?

2006-01-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

WILL THERE EVER

BE A BOY BORN

THAT CAN SWIM

FASTER THAN A SHARK?

A series of bad corners turned.

2006-01-22T02:43:00.000+08:00

u know.. my childhood's very sheltered. in fact, i think that i've been over-sheltered at times while i was growing up. u know.

I've been leading a charmed life until.. i dont know when specifically.. maybe it was when i graduated from poly. That was when i actually got out of the shelter and into the harsh realities of life. Well.. it hasnt been long since that particular corner.. but u know.. i've definately learnt a lot more about life.. the series of events which i ve went thru.. it taught me things which i could never learn in school. i think.

How i wish i had taken that step earlier.. it has changed me.. beyond a shadow of a doubt..

In hindsight, perhaps luck had run out for me. u know.. i hadnt much practice dealing with the big knocks.. the kind of blows one had to take when they explore their limits and push their luck.. i might have been crushed by the consequences of some of my bad corners..u know.. and also the imaginary monkey on my back, which i ve decided to name 'sergio'.

okay, actually there isnt any monkey. its imaginary.. its just that sometimes i need a scapegoat.. u know.. someone else to put the blame on.. other than myself.

my life, like anybody else's, has been full of lessons to be learnt.

Blessed Christmas!

2005-12-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

Been a little bit busy lately.. though i am clearing my leave. and u know.. in fact.. i ve been clearing too much leave and off.. and i dont feel like going back to camp anymore.. (okay, who does?)

This christmas.. is not like any other christmas.. u know.. and i can see why.. because its a little bit different..

There was the 'traditional' Christmas gathering that my buddies of 427 years organised.. its been running for 427 years. u know. really hope that it will go on for another 427 years.. i m blessed to have met them and they to have met me. i think.

other than that.. something really lovely happened.

the Lord, yes.. the mighty God above, who has been touching peoples lives.. answering their prayers.. and 427 other great acts.. came into me life. u know.. i am not sure if He has always been there.. but u know.. u know.. okay.. i dont know how to put it into words.

All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all.

Isaiah 53:6

u know.. people who know me a bit.. or regulars of me blog.. know that i am not one of the best-behaved lads in the world.. and i live me life according to me own sets of principles.. it has gotten out of hand and to an extent that i even named it the 'Tao of Han' and got it in pdf format, u know.. u can get it in 3 easy payments of $427.99.. okay I digress.. but u know.. just like sheep.. they stray away from the flock without thinking about it.. following their nature to eat and wander.

our sinful nature causes us to chase after our own desires and to go our own way.. u know.. it comes naturally.. we are only humans.

there has always been voices in me head.. u know.. like a monkey always on ur back.. whisper sweet nothings in me ears and telling me what to do.. showing me the thrills of living in this world.

sometimes.. i even do something.. and ended up wondering why i did what i did.. u know. and sometimes.. u know.. i feel horrendous.. totally down and out.

perhaps its due to the weakness of me mind, spirit and character. i think.

but wait.. i would like to say that.. u know.. i ve always thought that there is God.. u know.. its like.. somebody has got to create this lovely world.. though its becoming progressively less lovely.. u know.. i have always been curious.. its like.. dont u want to meet Him? u know..

well.. only lately.. for one reason or another.. u know.. its just like coincidence.. everything just fall into place.. that i got closer to Him. and 427 thanks to those people who guided me a lot along the way.. i just cant express it in words.. my language isnt strong enough.. u know.. if u ask me to give u an account of everything.. u will probably hear 'u-knows' every other word.. u know.. its like a series of events.. one led to another and the lovely people along the way.. well.. its just lovely. lovely..

Now.. i hope to deepen me relationship with God. and maybe say goodbye to the monkey on me back.. u know..

Lastly.. have u guys have a blessed and lovely year ahead. (lovely because its one of me favourite words.. and i ve got to use it. u know.)

God bless.

A 'u know' fact of the week.

2005-12-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

alright.. i am getting educational.. u know. and from nowonwards, i will introduce a new segment.. known as the 'u know' fact of the week.

to kickstart this weeks fact.. u know.. as usual, the world cup is once every 4 years. And have u ever wondered why.. when every new world cup comes along.. the previous ball.. no matter how revolutionary it was touted to be.. all of a sudden became crap and isnt fit for the biggest tournament in football?

This World Cup, Adidas, which happens to be my favourite sporting apparal brand, is unveiling a 'revolutionary' new ball. Its called the '+Teamgeist'.

And this time around.. they invited one of the most technically perfect player of his generation, the eternally balding Zinedine Zidane, to test the ball. u know.. and his comments were "When u kick it, it goes in the right direction".

Wow! a football that goes in the direction which u kicked it in..

Then again.. when u asked someone with the technical ability of Zizou to test the ball.. its not at all surprising that it works as expected. Maybe adidas should invite me to test-run the ball.. if the ball goes to where i want it to.. most of the time.. instead of landing at an opponents feet or to the neighbourhood coffeeshop.. then it really could be seen as the ball of the new generation.

I am BACK -yet again.

2005-12-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

hi hello.

Before i start, i shall explain why there hasnt been any updates since the 1st of dec. And u get to choose the excuses:-

a) I ve been encountering problems with Blogger.u know.

b) i ve been a little bit busy and hasnt been giving a f**k about updating my blog.

There u go..

Now that i am still here and u re still there. Lets all get on with life and start turning corners.. yet again.

Updates

2005-12-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hi people.. been a little while since my last update.

Birthday's awesome. little celebrations here and there.

School's good. and i am good at school. i think.. i hope.. i pray!

Unit's boring. they miss me. and i miss them no more than i miss anyone else. getting more strict. more regimental.

Life's been awesome; but i am still learning on the learning curve.

Join the Army.

2005-11-29T14:14:00.000+08:00

We may have the combined age of a senior citizen but we all still have the mindset of a teenager.

Horrendous Section.

Butt is another aptly named item. It joins things, brings one sentence to an end and starts another.

Winning Eleven. (I can play football) V 7.0

My hands are not the only things long :P

Darren, who winks at anything that moves, is 6 feet tall. And Shar, player 69, with his 'toot-to-lu-to too, Ultraman'!

Soldiers in the day, Superheros at night.

Got to Go.

Turning Corners' Man of the Year.

2005-11-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

The title goes to the one and only Kevin Federline. Known for being the hubby of Britney Spears.

Why is he chosen as the Man of the Year?

Because he turned an awesome corner and is an inspiration.. or should i say.. a living prove that an unmotivated and useless bum can make it BIG.

Before he turned the corner.. he worked jobs like pizza delivery and back-up dancing.. and is the father of a kid with his ex.. no money.. nothing. Or, in ur mummy's word.. a useless bum.

He fully deserves this title as he must have done something to make Britney Spears propose to him while he was expecting a 2nd child with his ex gf. He was so pathetic financially that Britney has to pay for her own engagement ring!

Isnt that f**king awesome?

Now he is the world's favourite freeloader.. with a wife who brings home millions worth of bacon onto the table.. living in a home worth millions of dollars... and currently has a reality show. He is up for more.. like releasing his 1st hip-hop album etc..

If this happened in Britain.. he would have been knighted for his amazing accomplishment.. all hail Sir Kevin Federline!

when i grow up i want to be like K-Fed. (Kevin Federline)

I had a dream.

2005-11-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

i had a dream once.

The details.. well.. i shall not reveal.

u know.. i dont know what u dream about when ur dreams are gone. u know.. do u start new ones?

for me.. i think.. thats tough when everything u ve ever dreamed of comes true and then suddennly disappear like a thin cloud after the sun shows up.. u know.

and ah.. i ve feeling down lately.. u know.. a moody kind of sadness.. like being in a dimly lit room listening to cheap love ballads. The last time i felt this down, i didnt look into mirrors much. i think. i felt that my own reflection, in other peoples eyes was much better than how i felt about myself. In their eyes.. i look good and i look strong. But.. u know.. they cant see what i see.. or what ive seen.

i simply didnt feel right. Maybe its just that my life is getting to change.. u know.. in other words..turn yet another corner. BIG-TIME.

Just some updates.

2005-11-12T16:35:00.000+08:00

hi people. It has been some time. u know.. I was supposed to totally ignore me blog for 7 weeks.. but.. heck.. changed my mind and decided to post an entry instead.

Well.. for an update.. training is sick. Literally.

Contacted some weird virul infection roughly 2 weeks into the course.. and u know.. with my 427 drug allergies.. i had to be sick for about a week and then u know.. i lost plenty of weight. decent weight. Somewhere in the region of 6 kgs..

F**K, that is a hell load of weight. Go into a supermarket and try to buy 6 kgs of beef.. or pork.. or whatever that u fancy.. and look at the sheer size of it.

So now i look as though i am anorexic. ableit with muscles. thanks to those good old days where i talked them into shape in the gym.

and speaking of my remaining muscles.. they still got me selected for some crap SAF video.. will start filming next week.. sounds like good fun to me.

Well.. my training ends on the 25th of Nov.. and i guess.. thats when i will be turning yet another corner.

My birthday's on the 28th of Nov.. i repeat.. its on the 28th of Nov.. and that's also when my school semester starts.. and that's also when i return to my parent unit.. oh god.. I miss them? and did i mention that its my birthday on the 28th of Nov?

And.. not many people know.. but i havent been myself lately.. well.. u know.. not really not being myself.. but u could say that i was half the man that i was when in full-flow.. u know..

Been troubled.. turning the wrong corners.. losing my balls.. argh.. whatever..

A good thing is that during this course.. i get quite a bit of alone time.. u know.. where i could just ponder whatever i want.. and reflect on the corners ive turned.. something like being in jail?

And ive been thinking about loads of stuffs lately.. u know.. u could say that i ve been sorting myself out... so.. at the end of the day? i really hope that i will be back to full-flow when I pass out from the course..

so that i can be myself again.

Can i have my balls back?

Be Away for 7 Weeks.

2005-10-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

Dear friends.. i will be away for 7 weeks.

Kissing ass and 427 rules for success.

2005-10-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

i was on my way home this evening.. u know.. feeling oh so tired and everything.. then i passed by this row of really make-shift-looking make-shift stores below my block..

its just some make-shift tables and people selling food.. organised by the RC or something like that. i think.

i was cruising pass them without paying them the attention they deserved until i heard,"hey handsome! come and take a look!" or something like that.. i heard the words, 'handsome, come and handsome.. and look and i think also handsome.. and did i mention handsome?'

that was from a malay store and the whole family was present. i think. Eh...maybe not.. malays have really huge families.. u know.. so it doesnt really look complete. i think.

u know.. i rarely consume malay food, because they are usually.. or should i say.. always...spicy.. or quite spicy.. or f**king spicy.! but i dont know why.. unexplainable explainations... i do feel so at home there (okay.. it is really my home; ableit 7 storeys lower) and felt like i ve known them my entire life... maybe its because i totally agree with them.. u know..

hahaa.. i dont remember much of what exactly happened.. all i know is that i heard myself being called 'handsome' like 427 times.. and that i ended up buying something from them. u know,

so the point is.. kissing ass is good for u.

every language in the world has a term for what the malay family did, but in english, the word is simply 'smart'.(though i would really like to think that i am handsome. i am, right? hahaa...)

even though kissing ass is being frowned on by some people, in actual fact, it is nothing more than a benign business tool, like ur phones and e-mails. And the sooner u learn how to use it effectively.. the better off u will be...

it doesnt just apply in business.. it applies in life.. in camp.. in everywhere.. if not how do u explain my 2 days off on a thursday and friday? making my weekend really long... Oops...

Never misunderstood the power of flattery.. u know.. and the main principle behind it couldnt be simpler..

well... its pretty clear that we like those people who like us... and a compliment commutes the liking and makes the recipent more inclined to give us things.. such as day offs and 'car-longs'... the latter being very popular and demanded by mahjong players throughout the world... hahaa..

got it?

i dont know how many percent of the population it works on but it definately works on me.. Need somebody good on ur side? want me to help u come up with an awesome sonnet? need to negiotiate a better deal? help with ur problems? pose as ur bf? cook up a great dinner?

no problem! u know what to do...

give u that 'car-long' when u already have 5 'tais' in front of u... MY FOOT!

hahaa..

however, one should not be too obvious in their manipulation of these principles.. u know..

Filling a hole.

2005-10-07T19:59:00.000+08:00

we ve finally met again today. after quite some time. Awesome.

Fills a hole in my life which i never knew was there.

And i am a little bit good in Maths. Although i hate it. F**K Maths.

I ve also bought a soap-box for $3.57. (insert ur own joke here)

Ever Met Someone That Special?

2005-10-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

Exactly.

Mickey Soda

2005-10-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

Latest Update: I'm giving up swearing. No vulgarities. oh F**k. i think.

Really. u know... No more 4-letter F-words to further emphasize the meaning of my sentences, no more middle-fingers shown to people who did better than me in a maths test, no more vocabulary to interact with the chavs. i think..

Example 01: Normal day in camp.
Sergeant A: Hey han.. ho seh bo?
Me: F**K off!

Example 02: Girl messages me in friendster.
girl: hiya han..
Me: (fill in ur own reply here; no vulgarities though!)

Why so?

Because a new study has shown that men who use vulgarities experience a 14.7% drop in their testosterone levels! F**K! And their dicks shrink too! And... erm..u know.. their bench press ability drop by... ehh.. like.. a statistically measurable amount! Plus, in a survey of really really hot 18 year old beach babes who fancy geeks in their very early twenties and have a blog and is humourous and currently serving NS and etc etc, 97% of them said they dont like them to be swearing ...

ah.. those people who know me.. u know.. i am making all that up. (Did i get u?? hahaa)

What? i am giving up swearing.. so i am gay now right?

hahaa.. that is always a tricky subject. u know... its like kind of feminine and vain to not use vulgarities.. its something like triming ur eyebrows.. but u know.. if i had a monghugous uni-brow.. i would f**king sure trim it, wouldnt u? Chicks just dont dig guys with connecting eyebrows...

In actual fact, most things today that are considered good grooming and manners were once thought of as feminine.. and homosexual.

To pay a little bit of attention about how one looks and behaves was considered feminine. (For a guy, that is!) To lie to ur mummy that u went to the library but instead hit the gym for a better body was thought of to be a sexual perversion, u know.. it might even be considered worse than the 'sin of masturbation'. i think. in the older times...

but then.. hey.. how times have changed.

nowadays.. using pimple creams on ur zits.. is that sexually questionable?? how about styling ur hair before u get out of the house? getting highlights? tanning sessions? usage of deodorants and cologne? wearing women underwear? reading a drug-addict book with the cover in bright-pink?

hmmm... the second last one might be a little problem..

but.. u know.. what i am trying to say.. is that... where do 'real men' draw the line? And.. more importantly.. is that line moving? Why is.. u know.. one practise considered perfectly normal and acceptable for men.. like using styling products for hair and deodorants to still have some friends.. while other practices.. like.. lets say.. using a toner and moisturiser and carrying a tote bag... brings about accusations of being a 'fag'..'fairy'..'gay'..'queer'.. or the more mainstream and acceptable word: Metrosexual.

But if some practices is performed in order to get more chicks.. then.. u know.. is it really considered gay or feminine??

u know.. its kind of interesting to think about it..

Tote bag(Left) : Every second man 'in the know' would be carrying one this time next year.

Or

Tote bag(also left) : Every man who 'plays for the other team' would be carrying one.

PS: To u know who... i am not vain :P

Friendster Sucks (Part 2)

2005-10-02T02:36:00.000+08:00

oh.. it doesnt suck after all...

my friend just told me that u can switch to anonymous mode... and u can do whatever u want and nobody else is going to know...

hahaa... cheers!

Friendster Suckssssss!

2005-10-01T17:08:00.000+08:00

oh what the F**k!

Now all of you will be busted....

Online network Friendster, which i have been a member of since Sept 2003, has seemingly out of nowhere, pulled the rabbit out of the hat by unvealing a very new feature which allows members to see who has viewed their profiles in the past month.

So if u've been secretly checking out that hot ex-classmate in kindergarten.... she's gonna know once she logs on.

F**k Friendster...

hahaa.. but i was also surprised when i checked who's being viewing my profile thru September.. really awesome.. to say the least...

I love Friendster.

Oh.. and i saw the mediacorp actress Le Yao. Last night at Club MoMo... and she is so f**king hot.. especially when she's dancing.. oh god... hahaa...

Couldnt find a picture of Le Yao... so i will show u people someone whom i've drawn..

Zoos and Human Relationships

2005-09-28T17:39:00.000+08:00

A very good afternoon people.. todays posting is really deep stuff.. erm, well, not really that deep but as compared to the normal rantings.. it is. I think. (so u might want to scroll down to enjoy the comic script below before u start on this, cause u are really going to think a little bit)

Have u ever thought of the past relationships u ve been thru and wondered why they didnt worked out?

Okay, u probably did. And u probably lied to urself about the answers too. u know..

Anyway? although I am far away from being an english premiership footballer.. I have had my fair share of relationships.

Each time though, something went wrong. And so I rarely had a relationship that lasts more than a year. Except 1, and I ve said this several times.. if I have 2 millions dollars.. I would give her half of it. Hahaa? yeah, right.

U know.. my buddies were starting to think that I had some sort of character flaw, started to think that I just could not commit to anything. well... i dont think so.

There were times when I thought I ve found my bliss? but my bliss never fail to always give way to despair. Take the time when I dated michelle reis. We met on a cruise ship and was an item after that. But I could never figure out why she insisted on calling me ?Matt? and make me lie on her door-step so that she could walk all over me. It definitely wasnt a loving relationship, but I enjoyed her luxurious company and told everyone who was willing to listen that Im dating michelle reis.

But it didnt last. Jiaxin, well thats what I call her, is nearly twenty years older than me and u know... I could never explain that to my parents, although she looks really really lovely. Therefore, I picked myself up from her door steps, dusted away the crap and left her. oohh....

I still see her nowadays.. on L'Oreal advertisements, that is.

Anyway, I must have digressed a little bit. The main topic of this posting is how relationships are like zoos. Human Zoos.

U know.. to normal people, zoos are thought of as really nasty places.. u know.. places where animals are forced to survive in.. after being rudely taken out of their own beloved natural habitats. The animals were then to live out the rest of their lives in captivity, never to experience the thrill of the hunt again? (that is as sad as the ocean?)

But Ive always had another perspective. I think. Well.. did u know that the average wild animal lives an incredibly stressful life? u know.. the food is scare and their territory must be constantly defended. Moreover, parasites are omnipresent and the slightest infection can be really fatal. Very, very rarely is their life free from the negative intrusions of rivals, hunters or poachers. Uh.. now u know..

And.. to minimize stress and to ensure an adequate supply of food and water? animals usually stake out a familiar territory and that territory is only as large as necessary. And very rarely.. will the animal venture outside of it, cause , above all, an animal wants familiarity and routine.

Alright.. now think about it.. isn?t a zoo enclosure a small territory? One where all the animals? necessities are met? Whats more, if an animal is sick.. its being tended to. If it gets sexually-deprived, aka mating season, zookeepers draw up the imaginary curtains and pretends not to see anything. And if the animal is fiscally irresponsible.. they will invest its money in some tax-free municipal bonds.

Yeah.. so what if the public gets to watch u shit and screw? Its not that bad as compared to the hungry, anxiety ridden, flea infested alternative.

And get this.. if the keeper accidentally leaves a cage door open, the animal rarely tries to escape. And if it does escape, its probably going to 7-11 to get a six pack and some chips and will be back before u know it.? if not, its almost always because the zookeeper failed to recognize and accommodate the animals needs. U know.. maybe there wasn?t broadband connection around.. or its being forced to eat some 9th grade beef it doesnt fancy.

Whatever it was? it bothered the animal a hell lot because u know.. animals.. like humans.. hate the unknown. If the animal does escape from the enclosure, it doesnt wander around looking for a mahjong game or a prostitute.. its looking for a safe place to live in. u know...

The moral of the story, if there is one, is that each species of animal, human beings included, is different and has varying needs. And if those needs are met, they will be content and largely stays put. Then lives happily ever after.

Isnt this something like relationships? if we re in one whereby our needs are met, if we re being treated correctly, if our dignity and ambitions isnt trampled on, we most likely hang around.

So? the reason for my relationship wanderlust is now clear. It definitely wasnt a character flaw and it wasnt some manifestation of attention deficit disorder. I must have had a series of bad zookeepers and inhospitable 'enclosures' and so I left.

Well.. let me ask my readers a question: hows ur cage or enclosure? Are ur needs being met? Are u psychologically, spiritually, mentally and whateverly being taken care of? Or, is it so bad that u?re willing to risk the unknown, to leave ur routine, to leave ur familiar territory and find a new safe place to live in?

Blood flows really fast.. u know..

2005-09-28T16:03:00.000+08:00

Applied for Curtin University

2005-09-24T01:20:00.000+08:00

hi people.. i have sent me application for a place in Curtin University of Technology. They will be notifying me in like 2 weeks time.. and u know.. i will probably get in. i think.

oh come on.. i am like? going to pay them so much money.. plus.. i did pretty decent back in temasek poly. u know.. although the latter is a more politically correct reason. No.. I mean.. the right reason.

anyway, i went for the preview and reached really early. okay, half an hour earlier.. it was like.. nobody was there! and i got the chance to have a little conversation.. like 10-15 mins with the director of the business school. u know.. making some small talk and seeking some advice..

man.. that was awesome.. but dude he only has a son who is a doctor..

and anyway, i never thought i would be committing myself to studying again. u know.. at least not so soon.. u know.. after studying for like so many years straight.. since pre-pri till diploma.. although its in a series of serious and non-serious fashion.

but anyway again, i ve never really committed myself to anything, i think. and u know.. i usually do what i can get away with for as long as i can get away with it.. hahaa.. (everybody does that too.. dont they?)

and anyway again and again, i am working on a degree for all the conventional reasons.. since my poly grades were decent..(hey i am smart. u know.. certainly smart enough to conceal the fact that i am smart.) and .. and a degree in marketing would probably be easy for me.. u know.. making use of my natural intelligence.. un-common-common-sense and some good exam technique... and also, if i had a degree.. i would be at least.. well.. at least a nobody out there with a degree.. hahaa.. okay, it would also help get me a decent job.

lastly.. but still anyway again again and again, i think that life is a habit. u know.. more or less like that. u do something, then u do it again, then again, and before u know it, that's what u are... and that's who u are.. and u cant imagine being anything or anyone else.

yeah... yeah, right.

F**king Sonnets

2005-09-22T00:53:00.000+08:00

i am not sleeping early tonight.. going to have 2 days off..and then a long long weekend..

cause i am losing my balls lately.. dont actually feel like going to camp every morning.. u guys have read it.. the posting yesterday, about the scenario i go thru every morning.. u know..just to make it to camp, usually on time.

yeah and right now i am helping wendy with her sonnet.. its really tough to come up with a sonnet.. u know.. so many rules and regulations.. 14 lines.. 10 syllables a line and then the abab cdcd efef gg thingy.. its like u're dating a daughter of a discipline master. (never did that, never want to)

actually wanted to pretend to be sleepy.. u know...and then logg off and hide somewhere and read my new book.. but then she used her magic powers again.. and well.. u know the rest of the story..
but then.. being ever so gifted and super talented and also terribly humble.. a wonderful combination, i came up with 8 lines in 20 mins.. she praised me like crazy. okay, i did ask her to do so.. but she would do so anyway. i think.

My fine life have always been filled with guys
Daddy, doggies, friends and oh, my suitors
Complement my life like fast-food with fries
Filled up my mind like mindless polluters

Not a single day went without a date
Lovely flower bouquets surround my bed
Out of school and they just wait at the gate
Countless jealous females simply see red

E-mail inbox full of e-love letters
Text messages flood my mobile all day
They behave very much like my debtors
Oh god, how could I have kept them at bay?

Curfew set at five was my dad?s answer
All the guys then avoid me like cancer

Wahaha.. what a braggart! what do u people think?

I am a geek.

2005-09-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

Oh i have completed a book called "Dog Eat Dog", by Jay Jerry Carroll.

Pretty decent read, its about a man, Bogey, a coporate raider.. an evil guy, who goes into coma and actually became a dog. A brown chihuahua with deep deep eyes. Then when he is back into the real world, he is a reformed man. Yep, he turned a corner, probably.

But as usual.. things are not that simple as some devil followed him back and arggh... F**K.. i cant do book reviews.. its just so not me..

but hey.. i am really a geek k. i insisted.. even though i cant review the book, i can read.

There you go.. this is a Chihuahua.. Got this picture off the internet.. its called tiny and its 2 months old..
Looks really cute.. if i'm the owner.. i would call it 'ah-kow'.. i have always wanted a dog called ah-kow.. u know.

anyway, it looks really nice stir-fried too.. but not too spicy.. i cant take spicy stuff.. and oh.. wendy is going to read this..

i am kidding, u guys know.. right?

Now onto Dolce & Gabbana's Spring Collection.

Jeans worn really really low.. been the trend... and does anybody know how to convert a normal pair into one that is torn and tattered?

can i make u some tea?

Camp Day

2005-09-20T16:54:00.000+08:00

Its 6:00AM in the morning and i hear a noise. i think.

It sounds vaguely like an alarm clock alert.. u know.. so my semi-conscious brain deduces that its either my alarm clock or i was really drunk and desperate last night and i brought home some girl that would look and sound pretty much right at home on the shelves of a clock retailer. hahaa!

You know.. if i open my eyes just a little little bit,yeah, maybe whatever's staring at me wont have a clue that i am awake. If its not my alarm clock ringing, i would blatantly feign death until the loud-mouthed living-non-living thing gets tired of ringing, presses down that button on top of her head, grabs her purse and find her way home.

One.. two.. three, EYES OPEN!

Oh thank god, its my alarm clock alert.

Wait a minute... arh i remember! i stayed home last night and was reading a book till i dozed off. Wwwwhhhheeewww!

I then stagger my way to the bathroom.. and if my dad left a cigarette butt in the toilet bowl.. i will play "sink the Prince of Wales" until my little han runs dry. (FYI: Prince of Wales is the british battleship sunk by the japanese forces while it was on duty in the region during WWII)

I would then turn to the sink and wonder why my mum didnt install a mirror there.

Oh F**K, that is my typical Camp Day morning.. and it happens an average of 4.27.. okay make that 5 days a week.

Lost

2005-09-20T16:34:00.000+08:00

Just watched the last episode of ABC's Lost Season 1... yeah, they freshly won the Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series..

The ending is really weird.. the 'others', whom i know jack about, seem to be really bad.. bad.. u know.. just like michael jackson.

They love children.. took the french woman's baby.. then is interested in claire's newborn.. then took Michael's kid, Walter.. oh.. by the way, Michael Jackson has been proven innocent.

Season 2's coming really soon..

And yah, there're only 2 people acting in Lost.. right? i mean.. yah?

Bachelor of Commerce @ Curtin University

2005-09-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

hiya people.. i plan on doing a degree from Curtin University of Technology offered by the Marketing Institute of Singapore here. I know the branding weird.. u know.. a business degree from a university of technology.. but hey.. its pretty established.. and pricey. If u analyse it using price quality theory.. its supposed to be awesome.

Its a bachelor of commerce.. would be doing a double major of Marketing and (Either Public Relations/ Advertising/ Management).. havent decide on the 2nd major yet..

Any advice?? Anyway i would be registering this coming Thursday.. hope i get accepted and part-time school starts on my Birthday. 28th of November.

F**king Awesome.

Becks losing Gay Icon Crown (FYI)

2005-09-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

Alright.. for those people who are 'not so in the know'.. there is a new rival for david 'goldenballs' beckham's crown.

Meet Gavin Henson, Welsh Rugby Star and pin-up boy.

Both are based in Europe.. u know.. have hard-partying pop-star girlfriends (Henson's with charolette church) and use excessive amount of hair products?? hahaa..

Beckham even said:"I think i have lost a lot of my gay fans to Welsh rugby star Gavin Henson. It is a shame as i really love them."

Now that is sportsmanship. i think.

Gavin Henson is supposed to be really awesome. 23 years old, former IRB World Young Player of the Year and he recently help Wales beat mightly England for the 1st time in 6 years, with a 44 metre penalty.

Yeah, and Becks is launching his range of frangance, Instinct.

Beckham fans and metrosexuals might want to lay their hands on them..

Least I Could Do

2005-09-17T05:48:00.000+08:00

This is awesome.. hahaa..

Bad Corners

2005-09-15T15:17:00.000+08:00

Life is rife with bad corners due to 'myopic vision'.. u know.. instances like when we should have looked left when we looked right... when we should have jumped and walk away instead of staying and watching it burn down... when we should have opened door 7 instead of door 4 and ended up with a cup of celery juice instead of a flashy new car.

i'm damn sure everyone turned bad corners.. and lived to regret them. Some lasted several seconds, while others might linger for years...

Let me tell u a story..

boy always hear girl's voice.. u know.. as she is always calling for him. i think. and somehow, it broke the perpetual silence of his heart. but no matter how sad.. the boy couldnt reveal the love that wouldnt amount to much.. as it seems .. u know.

mouth and lips were tightly sealed.

now why didnt he say anything anymore. u know.. cause he doesnt want to unbalance her life. she has given him a lot of obstacles. well, at least they ve met in this life.

and he would rather spend his life with her not in his arms.i think . and let her wander freely and do whatever she wants. but the love for her remains deep down inside. and if she met someone better than him.. you know.. he would wish her the very best from afar and never right in front of her.

and words, loads of them in boy's mind. but then he still left without any.u know.. and he would wander and explore the world. just as long as she is in the castle with love.

annonoymous.. anonnymous? or anonymous?
(f**k, i cant spell this)

anyway, i wanted to buy a really awesome book by former drug addict james frey.. its called 'my friend leonard'. but it comes only in a monghugous sized hard cover. and its pink in colour. u know.. its just a hardcore testosterone filled book.. why is it in pink?? and its 40 over dollars!

i am going to pick up gardening instead.

yeah, right.

i am up to something... - YET AGAIN.

2005-08-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

Some of you might have noticed that i havent updated my blog for a little while. . yep.. in fact, even when there were updates.. i m like always ranting about this girl whom most of u people here have no clue about. i think. And i didnt even upload her picture. (oh actually, i did. but she did something.. something equivalent of talking me into removing it.)

yeah, in between the last entry and this new update.. i ve predictably performed unpredictable 'acts of romances'. Probably 427 times. If u let me count. I think.

The most romantic one? I brought her to Paris.

u know.. Taking a girl to Paris is a lot like getting married in Singapore. Sooner or later, most guys do it. But, just like tying the knot, there is a right way (intimate and personal) and the wrong way (lying that u actually brought her there).

okay, u re probably onto me. We didnt go to Paris.

I just thought it was too personal and perhaps too private to write everything here. U know.. i blog about what i did.. how i felt.. how she reacted... it probably sound like a reality-tv kind of blog.. ?reality-blog?, u know... and speaking of reality-tv programs.. i really fancy Bravo's ManHunt.. it should have more than 8 episodes. i think. And Rob is awesome.

I tried blogging without mentioning anything about her. i did it this monday. i sat there staring at the computer screen for about 3 hours before i gave up and went to the gym.

Yep.. and this time around, i am up to something- yet again!

And nope.. i am never going to tell anyone about it. u know.. I never use the word never.

this is wendy tan.

2005-08-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

i want to watch grass grow with her. i think.

2005-08-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

dear turningcorners readers,

i am a decent young lad who is serving the nation. As you know, life for an NSF can be either terribly interesting or terribly boring. but.. u know.. that has nothing to do with have i have in mind for this letter.

I just want to tell u people, how much my life has changed since either last Tuesday or last last Sunday, depending on which one u fancy. Heck, just choose one.

last last sunday, i was texting this girl , let's just call her wendy, whom i secretly have a soft spot for, since my poly marketing days. But at that period, i was a huge geek and was terribly into attending lectures, working on projects and yes, collecting stamps. Yeah, right. the truth is, we hardly knew each other and i am too jessie to get to know her. yes. i adsolutely suck.

i then asked her out on National Day, using the fireworks as the main theme. she agreed. of course, she likes me and wants to watch the fireworks with me. We had an awesome day and got on really fine. She likes me. u know.

then after that, i got sick. Terribly sick. but i still thought of her a lot. Then i did something romantic and got her this card and rose and sent it secretly to her at 4am in the morning. i was really terribly sick.

the next morning, no.. late afternoon, she is a lazy pig and sleeps a lot, i think, she received the card and was so touched. she melted. she probably wants to spend the rest of her life with me.. u know. it must be that way. i think.

then it was a sat and i asked her out again. okay, i probably fell into her trap as she lured me to ask her out. she is evil but still, i totally dig her. i think. we had so much fun again even though it was just a few hours. we watched fireworks again. it appeared in the movie. it must be Fate. capital F, mind u. i knew it, she likes me 427 times more than yesterday. she even gave me a green coloured light stick, which she threw down from her window. romantic. probably meant that she has given me the 'green light'.

the next day we met again. she made me wait hours for her. but since she likes me so much. i obliged. we headed down to marina south, bet u ve guessed it right, to watch fireworks again. we had so much fun - yet again, took pictures of and with each other, exploring the various military vehicles, which i have no interest in at all.u know. i was staring at her the whole day. during the fireworks, i kept asking her if she felt like being in love. although she said no, she must be dying to do so in her heart. i think. i thought the day was awesome, she even purposely let me accidently hold her hands, like 427 times. yes. she likes me a lot.

then after that, she insisted she wanted to watch grass grow with me for the rest of our lives. awesome.

signed,

happiest han in the world

Okay, it actually didnt happen that way, except for in my dreams.

you see, ive always had a thing for wendy. but fate has never seem to bring us together when we re in marketing course at tp. it was somewhere in the beginning of the year that we started chatting on msn and then i found out how she's really like.

only recently we started getting closer. went on a couple of dates. i realised that i totally dig her. i can just sit there and stare at her. nevermind her favourate food is the fast-dying JLC (Long John Silvers). she is just so special and makes my tummy feel funny the first time we went out. she makes me panic a lot, which results in me sprouting F-words.

she told me that she likes me too. once. i was estatic. it was f**king awesome.

i have found the girl i want in my life. i think. doesnt matter that she doesnt have a clue what the hell a bench press is. no other girls have ever made me felt like this before. i have been telling anyone who has been willing to listen to me talk about it. honest.

i would love to watch grass grow with her. and i am trying to talk her into actually doing it.

do u think she would agree?

Something i did yesterday. (Part I)

2005-08-12T22:16:00.000+08:00

I was sick yesterday. Honest. Was on a couple of days? MC. Don?t remember much of what I?ve done actually, besides sleeping and sleeping.

But in the evening, I was suddenly struck by this abrupt urge to perform what I call ?an act of romance?. I was clipping my toenails at the time and was having a hell of a time shaping the pinky toe when the urge struck me.

U know, given that I am a normal guy, of course I do not know how to respond to a situation like that. In retrospect, I think I was supposed to finish clipping my nails, go take a nice long shower and chill in front of my computer with a tub of ice water. (Yeah, sick pricks should take in more water)

Instead, I dropped everything I have on hand and got changed and left the house. (okay, I did actually complete my nails.. I was at the pinky ok? The last one. But come to think about it.. I dont think Ive cleared the clippings? erm.. I hope I did!)

I just want to do something which I thought was ?romantic? for this girl whom I really really really fancy. I think. Hmm.. lets just call her Wendy.

Thoughts raced through my mind.. what is romantic.. is this romantic.. is that romantic?? And of course, I know that its supposed to have something to do with what girls think love is all about? that is romantic..

For example, buying flowers is supposed to be romantic. Writing mushy love poems is supposed to be romantic. And for some reason, so is watching a sunset.

On the other hand, I know that buying a girl a set of dumbbells is not romantic. Neither is preparing a home-made dinner consisting of plain oatmeal, tuna packed in water and egg whites. This much I know.

Okay, end of lesson.

When I ve made my way to the car, I ve decided to go all old school. Flowers, poems and sunset. Dude? I am romantic! I think.

I visited the florist. (not the one at the corner of the street with the fair long hair girl, its imaginary, okay) Then a gift shop. (The cashier, a little girl, probably 17 years of age, gushes a little when she saw me with a pink rose as I paid for the card. She thinks I must be really nice and romantic and whatever. I think.)

Then just when I everything is in the bag. Something struck me like a brick to the head.

I was talking to myself, mentally, of course? ?F**k.. I don?t exactly where she stays.. F**K? What the F**k am I supposed to do with all these.. How the F**K am I to pass it to her.. F**k.. i am F**k stupid.. I should have F**king followed her up with I send her home that day.. F**k! I am an Idiot.. a F**king Idiot!!!?

I was like.. oh no.. I don?t want it to end up in the wrong household.. F**K!

Hahaa? I apologize for the vulgarities, but when I panic, really panic, i tend to use a little bit of the F-word. I think.

?Yeah, I shall just make a trip down first to try and make out where she stays?

Reached there around 9 plus.. thank god I was wearing this really sneaky pair of slippers.. which make no noise when I walk. I think.

And f**k I was like f**king afraid I might get caught her by so I went up to the 4th storey first.. trying to peep down, paying special attention to my surroundings. I thought there was only a couple of units there so it would be easy to predict being the gifted genius that I am.. but f**k there is like 427 units..

Then I swallowed my heart and sneaked down to the 3rd level.. where she is residing.. (oh,u mean its already inside my body? Oh nvm, u know what I mean.. right?) I tried looking around hoping to hear her voice or some dogs barking or something? but no!! I cant possibly pop my head into the units and check?

Then I panic again.. oh F**k how am I suppose to find out which she?s in? F**K man!

I gave up, dumped the flower and card into the nearest bin and left for home.

Of course not! Haa.. I then texted her.. trying to con it out of her mouth. I mean.. she is a really pretty girl.. so she must be quite dumb.. I think.. so it should be a breeze. I think. No.. I hope.. man.. I pray!

My Fantasy Girl

2005-08-12T21:06:00.000+08:00

Every day from my window, I watch her as she passes by.
I say to myself, "You?re such a lucky guy."
To have a girl like her, is truly a dream come true,
Out of all the fellas in the world, she belongs to me,
But it was just my imagination, runnin? away from me.

?The Temptations, "Just my Imagination."

I have this fantasy. i think.

There is this woman.. u know.. everyday from my window, i watch her as she passes by on her way to work.

She works as a florist at the corner of the street. She's young, fair and has long black hair. (okay, please, no hungry ghost festival jokes here)

She is a beauty, doesnt speak much and has a puppy named 'Ah-Kow'. (u know.. if i have have a dog in the future, i will name it ah-kow too.. yeah, i know.. how original right?)

And i am completely mesmerized by her. Everytime i see her, i cant take my eyes off her.

I've even told some of my close friends about her. Honest.

Just an imaginary girl.

this is just for wendy : )

2005-08-12T02:29:00.000+08:00

wendy insist that she wants to see now.. okay, myself, being so sweet and all that..

NOW.

hhmm.. saw it? do u fancy it? hee...

I am going to restart blogging. i think.

2005-08-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am back. i think.

I wasnt surprised when all of a sudden this February i stopped blogging, not at all.

That's the way life is like.. u know.. Shit Happens!

One moment in February, you re just back home from work, feeling the coolness of nightfall while sipping on a Coke Light, which, by the way, is a really awesome drink, u know.. the traditionally lovely goodness of coke with only 1 calorie per serving!

Okay, back to the topic, you settle yourself down in front of the computer and log to the ur favourite blog site, www.turningcorners.blogspot.com and realised that its not being updated. And you thought to yourself, yeah, he is probably busy saving the world or something like that.. that's why it aint being updated. Heck, i shall just come back tomorrow again.

Feeling disappointed, you might end up having problems falling asleep that night. i think.

Unfortunately, days turn into months, and whenever u log on to this awesome blog, there isnt any updates at all. Its always that few freaking pictures staring back at you. You then realised that you actually really fancy the entries here and perhaps the owner too... well, u know.. u dont miss the water till the well runs dry..

You got depressed.. yelled at the dog.. skipped meals and lose a couple of dress sizes... and even contemplated terminating ur broadband access.

Well, like i've said, Shit happens.

But here i am. Back. I think. Havent blogged for like half a year and i need to go for a refresher course in english. i think.

Anyway, hope u would love my entries again and do make some noise while u re here.. there is a tagboard on the left and u could also leave comments for the entries.

Thank you very much.

2005-02-12T20:02:00.001+08:00

Bravo platoon 2 Section 1 plus CS.

2005-02-12T20:02:00.000+08:00

CS, me, mingthai.

2005-02-12T20:01:00.001+08:00

Vic, Me, KJ.

2005-02-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

Bed 05, 09 and 08.

2005-02-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

Bed 08, 12 and 02.

2005-02-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

bed 08, 10, 05 and 04.

Batman and Superman

2005-02-10T17:14:00.000+08:00

This article might be a little too heavy for an occasion such as the 2nd day of the Chinese New Year, but since i am strucked at home with the sun burning in sight outside, i might as well introduce it to u guys. Enjoy.

I was never the biggest Superman fan around.. u know... i would never fancy that 'red, full-bottom-coverage panties pulled over skin-tight blue tights' look. That just isnt a good look for anyone, except maybe if u are that christoper lee who gets to bed the lovely, always abalone-eating on the telly, Fann Wong.

okay, on a serious note, its because things came too easy for the man of steel. u know... All Superman had to do to save the world was to show up and change in a telephone booth. He was given immeasurable strength, invulnerability, the ability to soak above the clouds, and also X-ray vision(that comes in really handy sometimes). U see... things were simply too easy.

Batman, however, was my kind of guy. Okay, wait, 'my kind of guy' as in really my kind of guy... as in my idol.. my role model... not 'my kind of guy' as in i am wearing a bright pink baby-boy Tee with designer jeans and freshly manicured nails, sitting in an orchard road cafe pointing to the hunk who just walked by.

Got it?

okay, batman didnt have any superpowers at all... and of all hobbies, he chose to fight bad guys. And in order to do so, he had to lift weights, learn kung-fu, study science and engineering, and invent nifty gadgets. Sometimes, he even had to 'fly aeroplanes' his buddies during regular meet-ups on Saturaday nights.

Plus, he wasnt invulnerable. While Superman had nothing to lose when he fought against the forces of evil, Batman could have easily lost his life, or at least pulled a groin muscle.

Anyway, on a side note, the only thing that brought Batman down a little was his choice of a sidekick. Robin was a terrible choice! If u read Batman comics or know a little about him(watching those hollywood films doesnt count okay), Robin wore a tiny halloween mask to cover his eyes, a little red vest, yellow speedos, and cute little pointy boots. His always-bare legs were obviously shaven.

U know... and if i were Batman, i would have said to him, "My dear robin, i dont have the foggiest notion of whether u are gay or not, but for Gods sake, we re trying to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, so would u please use ur ang baos takings and butch up ur image a little? U know... u can maybe throw in some steel or leather or something, and please change ur name to something a little more intimidating than 'Robin'?."

okay, i think ive digress a little.

In thinking about Superman and Batman, it occurs to me that there are real-life parallels to them in the Real World.

For instance, u certainly have rich relatives who are doing brillant with their businesses... and their children? They are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Their parents take care of and pay for their everything and all they ever had to do was to 'show up'. They will end up with several degrees, high paying jobs, a really fat bank account, and plenty of chicks to choose from(not that they have to choose one anyway).

Hard-work, to them, is the name of a cafe located in town... oh so sorry.. thats 'Hard-Rock'. But, u get my point.

And still, still they are successful in life and think that they deserve to be so! Its maddening. Its frustrating. I want to put my hands around their necks and.... oh nevermind. I might even have to depend on them in future.

I mean, if u look around... there are plenty of 'successful' people around who dont have a clue as to how to be successful in life. And if u are observant, u will notice several of them even have the cheek to offer advice to their 'less-successful' peers...

i tell u my dear friends, there are times when i want to hang it all up and become a florist or baker.

Anyhow, its clear that the majority of people are Batman. They have to work hard for what they have. A good percentage of Batmen would eventually have the ability of Supermen, but their abilities arent a gift, they are paid for with rivers of sweat.

I really dont know how to end this off... erm.. really hope i was successful in getting the message across.

Dont compare urself to the person next to you. He might just be a Superamn. Compare urself with who u were yesterday. Its not where u are, its how far away u once were.

Thanks a million.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

2005-02-09T23:24:00.000+08:00

hey people everywhere... Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Gong Xi Fa Cai you again.... its like the only 4 letter Chinese New Year term that i know.

CRASHED me Dad's Car.

2005-01-30T03:14:00.000+08:00

I've just crashed my daddy's car. Neither a knock nor hit nor whatever.. i CRASHED it.

I'm already been walking around feeling rather crap... and what a way to end the week.

Oh dear... somebody, please save me. Please.

The Muses Must Be On Leave.

2005-01-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

Most of the time, when i sit down and post something for my blog... i simply do not have the foggiest notion of what i am going to write about. I usually just stone right in front of my 17 inch monitor (damn.. i am thicker!) and try to drill holes into the screen with my eyeballs while i patiently wait for inspiration to hit me in the head like a red brick tossed off a high-rise HDB flat.

Sometimes the brick comes, and sometimes, instead of a brick, the muses throw a pair of womens panties out of the window...and they float gently downward until they drape themselves lovingly over my head. And sometimes its neither.

Sometimes... u know... the muses get bored and a little cute, and the inspiration comes in the form of a pair of mens stained underwear... something like a size 47 with the name 'Bob' zebra-penned onto the waist-band... and u know what, thats when i write a real clunker.

The last time that happened... i wrote a totally 'healthy' and 'clean' posting called 'Cheesecake and Jessica Simpson'(its in the september archive i think) and i think till now... after 427 postings.. that particular one remained a firm favourite... a classic... a 'must-read'.... if u havent read that posting, its like u never been to turningcorners.blogspot.com...

Hahaa.. i thought so. Cause when i ask some of the frequent readers... they mentioned that posting. Its the most politically-correct posting. Maybe they really fancy some other postings but are too shy to say so because it happens to joke about sex and contains vulgarities or that i mentioned my little 'robbieson' 427 times in that posting... Anyway, i am fine.

Cause today i have no inspiration at all. The muses must have been on leave. Damn.

(Maybe u would like to go thru the archives and find out which one exactly.. or actually u fancy.)

Last Weekend and Gays

2005-01-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

The weekends... was like the rest of my 427 weekends... Nothing much happened. Except, i am back to attracting gays again! Damn.

Friday night, I was at Haagen Daz.. the one at Tangs.. and a very loving gay couple was seated to my 7 o-clock.(For people who have no idea where their 7 o-clocks are... please kindly use ur left hand to scratch ur left butt cheek and then look at where ur left palm is facing... that, is ur 7 o-clock)

My friend, who was seated directly in front of me, told me that thru-out the entire stay there, they were staring at me... Not only were their mouth physically enjoying quality ice-cream... their eyes are doing the same!

And when we were about to leave... i purposely turn and stare at them.. and hell!!! they returned the flavour... oh no.. not belgian chocolate or rum raisin that flavour... i meant favour. How? By staring back with those puppy-like eyes with similar facial expression... eeeeewwwww.....

i must have puked into my mouth and swallowed it back and puke it up again and swallowed it back 427 times in that split second... aarrghh... wait... i think that is more digusting than those gay puppy-eyed stares.. i would rather choose the gays... oh no... i rather swallow my own puke... erm.. eehh... tough choice..

Forget it.

On Sat, went to my year one poly mates' birthday bash at Downtown East... saw some old faces.. some new faces.. and some unfamiliar faces. It was lovely though.

My hello is faulty... it couldnt connect.. and i have problems posting pictures... screw hello. ( I
would take that back if it connects tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow or whenever it connects)

'Fa-Fa' Bike and High-Testosterone Week.

2005-01-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

Before i start... guess what?

My 'man-bike' was brought back to the bicycle shop again. This time around.. one of the 'tough-plastic' pedals, was shattered. Argh... i have to fork out another $15 for a pair of almunia ones.... oh wait.. thats the arsenal goalkeeper.. Who is really crap and doesnt look like a keeper at all. I really missed Jens Lehmann. If he isnt going to get a game and is going to be on the Arsenal bench most of the time, i would really love to be pen pals with him. Okay, it sounds really cheesy... but do u think he would fancy that idea?

I digress. Anyway back to the bicycle shop, the uncle is a really friendly lad, always dressed in the same attire (white singlet with dress pants... u know.. like those 70s-dressing.. but without the shirt?). Anyway, again, thats not the main point. The point is that he is full of shit.

I told him that his bicycles are crap... i just happen to ride a little more aggressively and the pedals broke. I said that his bikes were meant for girls... or chen han wei aka 'FaFa' (i then point to the tiny telly set in his shop).

Then he acted 'sissy' like chen han wei and said i was too rough with the bicycle and have to treat the bike like my gf... or something like that.

FULL OF SHIT! (but it was really amusing though, u should have been there to see it!)

Anyway.. theres no similarities between a gf and a bicycle... except, maybe, u get to ride them?? haa... or u chain them outside the gym when u go for ur workout?(oh... i must be thinking about a dog. Sorry!)

This week, so far, has been lovely... And I realized that my Testosterone levels are pretty high too...

Science Lesson Time (Guest-writer: Self-Proclaimed Professor Robbie 'the Geek' Han)

Guys... in order to have a rough estimate of the bioavailable levels of Testosterone in your body, here, 'exclusively' on turningcorners.blogspot.com, we show u the tricks of the trade. This applies to virtually every male. Yeah.

Warning: If u happen to be a male and have been alive for over 40 years, u might consider hitting the 'X' icon at the upper right corner. Refusal to do so would probably revive past memories... really sweet distanced memories where u look forward to waking up every morning... lovely memories of pee-ing in standing cubicles and 'staring at each other'...etc.... u know....

If u wake up in the morning, or middle of the night or heck... anytime with a 'flagpole'.. ure probably doing fine. This is known as Nocturnal Penile Turnescence....wahaha.. i am serious! Guys with really high levels of Testosterone will have that constant NPT going... and it does affect the way we sleep. For example, i cant roll over too quickly when i am lying in my bed.. Ouch!...u know... nor can i wear sleep wear that is too constricting...

And if u sport the 'occasional spontanous woodie' during waking hours... it means that u are in Testosterone-Wonderland. And wait!! Just before u jump up and down and go around shouting ure in TW... please read on further...

Achieving that 'woodie' while looking at erotic images doesnt count. Hahaa... dear uncles.. u sure u still dont want to hit that icon at the upper right corner?? Browsing thru ur well-hidden porn collection or hiding in girls toilet might give u a 'woodie'... but that doesnt necessarily mean ur T levels are in an optimal range.

What i meant was the 'Occasional Spontaneous Woodies'.

If u happen to be waiting for bus 854 at the bus-stop early in the morning and notice that u have a 'woodie'... uhh!

Then when u re reading up about investment and stock-trading in the Armskote and realised that the table has been slight raised... uuh-huh! (okay, maybe not that exaggerating... hahaa)

Just when u reached home and sit down to remove ur shoes... u realised u had to spread ur legs a little wider... yeah!!

Hmm... the above examples seems really familiar... anyway, the scenario doesnt have to be the same but u know what i am talking about...

And also.. amongst other 'side-effects'...my strength-levels in the gym has also soared.. which is lovely.

Now, the question is... Are u in TW?

Bicycle Accident..

2005-01-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

Whoa...

i ve debited the accident account for my bicycle and me.

Just not long ago, on the way to the gym, my bicycle skidded off the wet and slippery pavement and crash right into some very invitingly looking railings.

That feeling was totally awesome!!!

I happened to be going 'slightly' faster down the slope... so that i can utilise the increased momentum to cruise up the oncoming slope.. u know... being smart and lazy and all that...

Unfortunately... the pavement was really wet or I was really crap.. but I really would like to think its the former...and i somehow lost control of the bicycle and it glided towards the railing... and crash straight onto it..

Me? i have no idea how i did that but surprisingly i escaped without even any injuries... no cuts/blood at all except straining my wrist a little.. while i was breaking my fall. I just dusted myself a little and carried.

Anyway...that was really exciting! Lovely!

What about my almost one-week old bicycle?? The alignment of the front wheel was loosened... u know? u point the handles straight in front.. but the wheel is like wobbling and facing left... facing right.. and my 'ring-ring horn' was dented off shape... and some of the paint on the bike body fell off too...

Its on its way to looking rugged and being labeled a 'man-bike'.

I m lovin it. (though i am still crap at cycling.)

Turning Corner's Ethics and General Rules for Living.

2005-01-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

1) Man should open doors for women. Chivalry is kind of a corny concept, but nevertheless, its a good one.

2) Dont laugh at someone who has just made a total fool of himself, unless ure bigger and sure that u can take him.

3) Never judge a man unless you ve walked a mile in his shoes - unless he is wearing some of those sissy shoes with tassels. Then, you can judge him all you want without walking in his shoes.

4) Dont iron a crease in your jeans. This is one step away from ironing your underwear and crying out, "Im a big, wussy, momma boy."

5) If your attached buddy is tempted to cheat on his girlfriend, its your duty to at least remind him of the possible repercussions, unless, of course, he has got a chance to score with a super model or some beer commercial chick, in which case its your job to get him some condoms and cheer him on as if its the Singapore Lions taking on Indonesia at the Tiger Cup Finals.

6) Never sit on another guy friend's bike(especially if u both have some muscles), even if ure gay because, erm, that just looks a little too gay. (Just picture two grown-ups squeezing onto a motorcycle. Gay.)

7) If you spot your friend wearing spandex bicycle tights and he is not Lance Armstrong, its a cry for help, in which case its your responsibility as a friend to beat the shit out of him. If the tights happen to be any colour other than black, beat him somemore.

8) Dont watch local dramas staring Chen Liping or Chen Li Zheng. Really. Otherwise, Mediacorp types who make these dramas will continue to have the incorrect assumption that these women are 'box-office' draws. Similarly, dont follow serials with Chew Chor Meng, Alan Tern or Guo Liang for the same reason.

9) Should always drive with only one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear stick. In cases whereby its an automatic car, the free hand should be placed between the legs. Unless, of course, when your daddy is watching.

I am supposed to make it ten, but at the moment i cant think of any... perhaps anyone of u reading this can add to it?

Back to MPCCNTUCIFC.

2005-01-08T19:12:00.000+08:00

This is a terribly wet week... been raining everyday, havent seen the sun at all.

Other than that... everything was great. Back in camp, there wasnt much to be done... with both the CSM and OC on leave... so its a kind of like an 'own-time-own-target-carry-on' week. I love VTW.

I have also returned to the Marine Parade Community Centre NTUC Income Fitness Centre(MPCCNTUCIFC)... whoa.. come to think about it.. it kind of has a really long name. Anyway, that was the place where it all started... a genetically-gifted young and dashing lad, with an above average body and tall and dark and handsome, signed up just to have another macho past-time and a new place to hang out, just in case he skips school and has nothing to do...

Wait.. that guy is not me! i have no idea who the hell i am describing...

Seems like i have digress a little... back to that particular gym... it was like my home-ground... its like Highbury to Arsenal... Madison Square Garden to the New York Knicks... Changi Village to the Trans... ermm... i mean.. 'changi boys'...okay, enough. When i first signed up... i was a scrawny, brainy and bespectacled lad, weighing 115 pounds 'soaking-wet' and cant sing. (Alright, even though my singing receives compliments nowadays.. credit doesnt go to the gym... in fact, it has nothing to do with the gym. i dont have a clue why I ve mentioned that.)

Its a lovely place where i ve made all sorts of friends...and i really mean all sorts (names are not revealed to protect the innocent, of course!)... for example:-

1) some really muscular ones who is seriously lacking the main muscle located somewehere between the ears... and its hard to have a proper conversation with them without stopping every now and then to explain simple stuffs.. these are the man-hunt hunks who cant understand simple algebra and think that tsunami is some japanese dish...

2)some former fat boy (FFB) who lost some weight and start thinking he resembles brad pitt and all the chicks dig him.... plus they have the terrible habit of buying new clothes which are obviously meant for their baby sister... (mind you! u havent really lost that much weight.. )

3)some 'not so clever' ones who trains mindlessly, day-in-day-out, but their bodies looks like they have never step into a gym in their whole life....

4)some who are really genetically-gifted and would probably gain tonnes of muscles just by picking flowers... these are the ones who tend to think that they are so good that they go around giving terrible advice to others.. (its pretty obvious who are the ones who listens to them... those in No.3.. hahaa)

5)not forgetting the members of the housewives' club... decked out in flashy gear that would put Phua Chu Kangs wife, Rosie, to shame... haha.. they would sit on the bike and read magazines or ?lian he wan bao?... sometimes they even forget to cycle!

okay, i have really digress... lets leave these innocent gym-goers alone..

Even though it is more expensive to use the gym there, its a welcomed premium...cause at those public gyms., u can hardly get a workout going properly in the evenings..its usually so damn crowded and u have to wait and wait... and i hate that! Plus they have 427 of those people listed above! (just kidding...)

I have also gotten meself a bicycle, which i would use to travel to and back from the marine parade cc gym. Having not touched a bike for i dont know how many donkey years... i really felt like a lousy cyclist. In fact, i am really a crap cyclist. I am more dangerous riding my bicycle than i am driving the car, while talking on the phone, styling my hair and eating a protein bar at the same time! (not forgetting its manual and i still have to change gears!)

Its only the first week... and i am damn sure, as the days go by, whenever its time to head to the gym? and on my way there, if i see fewer and fewer people along the way... i wouldnt be surprised! (For those who are less witty; they are avoiding me!)

Resolution No.2 : I want to be Tougher.

2005-01-08T17:11:00.000+08:00

A rough look into the dictionary.. the word 'tough', affectionately pronounced as 'tuf', brings about 427 definitions... Ranging from ability to withstand great strain without breaking... to demanding... to hard to cut or chew.

But when i said i want to be tough on my 'man blog', many of u would automatically link the word to manliness.... manhood.. or masculinity. And then, after that, u visualise in ur mind the image of me calling someone a 'dickhead' and threatening to 'kick their arse'.

Wait! Before u clicked on 'save as' and make that image a permenent fixture in ur memory... thats not me! Only little boys who metaphorically never graduated from wearing shorts do it... but.. its not their fault, though.

Nowadays, with all the on-going terrorist acts and the increased popularity of Hollywood action flicks, toughness has been confused with violence or the promise of violence... and manliness has been confused with aggressive behaviour...etc.

The toughest person i know in my life didnt fit any stereotypical image of toughness. The person is my Dear Mummy and she didnt do anything classically heroic. After the screwing up of my granddads restaurant due to some 'undisclosable reasons', she kept the same shit job at another chain of restaurants, working 6 or 7 days a week, 10- 12 hours a day(stupid split-shifts!), and never call in sick no matter how rotten she felt.

Did she hate it? Well...maybe.. or probably... no.. most certaintly! But that didnt matter. She had to work and a family to support. She didnt agonize a little bit about what she coulda-shoulda done with her life. Now that is sheer toughness.

Mummy.. I LOVE U! Even though i listen to u only when u make sense to me... and i always capitalize on ur giro account whenever possible... and etc.. i really do respect u and love you!(can I sign up for my gym membership thru ur giro account? Please?)

Therefore, this year... i hope the toughness genes, which I have inherited from you, would progressively arise from their coma and transform me to be one tough nut.

Then, i would go around and call people 'dickheads' and then kick their arses.... hahaa... kidding yah!

Turning more Corners in 2005.

2005-01-02T18:30:00.000+08:00

Warning : This isnt your typical New Year Resolution posting.... This is a pretty serious one and I really did ponder a bit about it before opting for it. Like most people who turn corners every now and then, i tend to get on with my daily routine at this period of the year with a pen and paper. You know, just in case... i was hit on by a hot chick, whos feeling a little festive, along the common walkway on the way to 7-11... or i get to run into my 2004 crush of the year recipient, lim leeleng, so that i can take down her address and finally send her 427 flowers, discreetly, of course.

Nah, its not really because of the above reasons. (But a PnP really does come in handy in situations like these! Im sure u guys have watched the 'Worst-Case Scenario' Show) And of course, the core reason is to scribble down whatever new year resolutions that come to mind, usually of out the blue, in a literal form, just in case your memory fails you. Ever heard of the saying, 'The fade-est ink is better than the best memory'.

Two days into the new year... i am getting a very weird urge. It hit me last week while i was on a week's break from military duty. That was a time whereby i can sleep whenever i want, wake up naturally and have whatever i want on my mind. In short, i can do anything i want to do.

Take the Roads less Traveled.
This kind of 'take the road less traveled' feeling has always been with me, but i guessed it must has grown over the years. Now that i am finally 21,(not much additional benefits... except maybe legal porn in cinemas and my $400 ERS shares!) i must stop wandering around pondering what i should be doing with my life.(hope i am not too late though!)

Therefore, i have decided to explore the outcome of not following the crowd, whenever possible. (just u case u were thinking of not having a day job and consuming regular meals...) Take a look at what everyone is doing and, well, do something else... or directly the opposite!

You know, if normal people read fhm/maxims in camp instead of Businessweek/Time, do the opposite. If they dont have the balls to take risks, then take risks. If they are afraid to voice out certain feelings of opinions, voice them out, and loudly!

Think of it as navigating thru a forest to get to red riding hoods grannys house, when there is already an easy-to-follow path leading to it. You know... the easy path isnt exciting, you wont experience anything new following it, but it will lead u to ur granny. This year, i want to take the other path, the darker and winding one thru the forest where u will meet the big bad wolf. I think there is probably more to experience and learn on this path... even if the wolf comes and blow down my straw house... then i would run to my brothers wooden house..

Hey, wait; I think that is three little pigs! Hahaa...

On a serious note, i will definately be opting for that route more often this year, although it almost got me into some serious shit during one of the 'trips' this year.

Nothing is more profitable than the lessons life teaches u. i think.

2004-12-28T13:47:00.001+08:00

The 7 Lads...

2004-12-28T13:47:00.000+08:00

The lads with our balls 2.

2004-12-28T13:44:00.000+08:00

427 ballloonss...

2004-12-28T13:41:00.000+08:00

look stupid pic... i dont know what weijun is doing...

2004-12-28T13:39:00.000+08:00

hahaa....

2004-12-28T13:36:00.000+08:00

me the ballloooon man.

2004-12-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

The lads... was supposed to be an 'act cute' pic.

2004-12-28T13:34:00.000+08:00

The girlfriends... try to mix and match with the lads.

2004-12-28T13:31:00.000+08:00

Puzzle : 101010 = 950

2004-12-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

still solving puzzle...

2004-12-28T13:28:00.000+08:00

preying on poor renyou..

2004-12-28T13:27:00.000+08:00

the lads picking on ah gump..

2004-12-28T13:25:00.000+08:00

Game: Indian Poker.

2004-12-28T13:23:00.000+08:00

being punished after losing..

2004-12-28T13:20:00.000+08:00

weijun... with his dew.

2004-12-28T13:19:00.000+08:00

i m punished to swallow a melon..

5 more days to Christmas and Love.

2004-12-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

Yeah... 5 more days and the festive holiday period of the year is here... Xmas eve to Xmas to Boxing day to the New Year to my OC's wedding day and i dont know what day... everyday is just a holiday... Alright now lose it... ha-ha-ha-ha-ha... go crazy... ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...oh baby.. ha-ha.. (alright.. no more eminem shit.. but i simply love this particular MTV of his)

During this period of time... everybody is in a great mood and there is plenty of celebrations and holiday get-togethers... u know... the ones where u re supposed to be nice to friends you will never see except during major holidays or when there is free food.. .This is also a time where u see couples here and couples there and couples everywhere... (u can just throw a stone in any direction and it will either hit a couple.. or something else.. duh!)

And like what always happen during the holiday get-togethers with not-so-frequently-seen friends and relatives... somebody, be it joe or jane, usually with their partners by their sides... will ask me this "Where is ur girlfriend?"

"Oh, i am single," I say.

Then they would usually follow up with a, "I m so surprised u re single". (Note: there is no question mark nor a why; But it is supposed to be a question; then they would take a sip from their glasses, with an obvious showing of body language that they re waiting for an answer from me)

Then me, being me, would give them a blank expression, as if they have just asked me if i know George Clooneys shoe size, or how in which year did man start removing their pants and let women wear them instead.

"Uh?" they would look back at me with a raised eyebrow, prompting for an answer from me. (for those who have more facial control)

I would still give them that blank expression...that look.. u know.. just like a deer caught in the headlights on the expressway look... Fiona Xie doing trigonometry look... the look on my brother's face after catching me feed his luohan eat dirt... hahaa... okay, maybe not the last one... but u know.. that blank expression.

"Well...the dinner was great, wasnt it?" they would then change the topic.

That is how i handle such questions... and it works well.

Aahh... but who am i kidding. Even though its great to be single and all that... who doesnt want to have a loving partner to share his joys and troubles. Its just that Cupid, that winged roman god of love aka son of venus, who goes around prowling and matching people by shooting them, hasnt been doing his job.

It seems like everytime Cupid was on a crazed shooting spree near my neighbourhood, i was in the shower, or getting a haircut, or playing PS2 at home or something, so i was never able to take advantage of his presence.

Damn.

Besides that, i am also not that type girls usually go for. I have done studies on why girls like particular types of guys. (well.. i asked 3 girls.. that can be considered a study right.. albeit a rather small sample size)

Most of the time, they (as in the 3 of them) would go for cute-little boy faces... u know.. guys who dont look very threatening and would thus be unlikely to beat them for losing the remote control. The type... u know.. who would do whatever they say without questioning and even act like they are really interested in whatever she is saying... and not forgetting, the ability to flatter the hell out of her for just about any reason.

Example: Oh.. u re just like that Korean Drama Chick on Tv! Mediacorp or Raintree Pictures ought to make a movie about u! Especially with those lovely pair of... eyes that u have... they are like? like jewels... jewels shimmering in a mountain stream...

(Is that the reason why i see so many attractive girls out on the streets with guys like Bob? hhmm... u know.. that kind of guy u would picture when the name 'Bob' comes to mind.)

Either that or whenever i meet someone attractive, who happens to make my 'tummy feels funny', and who coincidently feels the same way about me... she is either very attached... or stays in jurong west...or couldnt keep her mouth shut or something like that...

Damn. Yet again.

Whatever it is... Dear Cupid.. oh.. i mean Santa, Mr Claus... the only thing i ever want for my 21st Christmas.. is love.. sweet love.. besides more money.. peace and prosperity...better luck.. more sunshine.. and maybe a few more pounds of muscles... and.. hhm... let me see... well.. I will send u my list when I ve made up my mind.. Thanks!

Ho ho ho... Merry Christmas!

2004-12-19T18:52:00.000+08:00

dude... i have have no idea what car is this... haha...

2004-12-19T18:44:00.000+08:00

that's what its all about.. turned one corner only to turn another one.. and then another on..that's turningcorners!

Atten C for 2 days.

2004-12-17T15:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I finally paid a visit to my family doctor and got my much needed and deserved rest. I havent been feeling 100% lately.. i think.. since somewhere last week. U know.. that dodgy little feeling... when u dont have much energy.. and u have to drag ur ass and moan and groan to complete some simple tasks... cause all u ever wanted to do was to just sit there and do nothing.

But u re not really down with any illness and u re looking perfectly fine on the outside. But u knew that u re not at 100% and and it discourages u from doing anything other than just sitting there...even when that really hot ex secondary sch mate, whom u ve been eyeballing for weeks, webcams with u on MSN... heck.. u didnt even send her flowers the next morning... damn.. what gentleman!

Initially, i took no actions cause i thought myself, being ever so tough and durable, would be able to shake it off with a few days of reduced activity level and more rest. Actually, i very much wanted to go to the doctor on Tuesday.. but then my Officer Commanding (OC) wanted me to 'collect debts' and clear up all the Armskote outgoing loans.

As i am new to him and most probably rated 'unproved'.. this wasnt a good time to get an MC. The last thing i want is to be labelled a wussy.. or some 'chao-keng' soldier... u know. Its just like when u ve got a new job... or a new partner... the last thing u want is to leave the wrong first impression.. even though u always the benefit of the second first impression.. and third one and so on.... its just not so lovely to have the wrong first first impression.... Right?

I found out that i ve got sinus infection.. nothing too serious.. just some nose allergy thingy that would clear up after some medication... which makes u really drowsy.. and want to go to bed..

Damn i hate this... why do i have to succumb to some silly infection right in the middle of another meaningful hypertrophy cycle... just when i was reaping the rewards and feeling great... now i have to miss like 2 weeks of my workouts.. arrgh.. fuck marshall (these chicks dont even know the name of my band.. but they re all on me like they want to hold hands....blah blah....)

But something raised me spirits this afternoon.. a few days back i requested for an autographed version of the 'daydreaming' pic from this attractive babe and she s getting it just for me!!! i wonder if its true... i had to pour hot scalding water over myself to see if i am still in my dreams due to my drowsy medication. (Okay, i didnt actually do that...) but still, its brillant!!

Moreover, she claims that 'hey reading ur blog makes my day'. Is that anything cooler than knowing someone loves what u have been doing.. especially when its consist of totally nonsensical rantings and illogical analogies..

Ohh... u know.. if she supports Real Madrid and told me she liked protein dishes.. i most probably would have proposed to her right there! Haa...

Things girls REALLY dont know about guys, i think.

2004-12-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

hi dear friends.. how are u guys doing?

The usual things have been happening and there is nothing special these few days... so this posting.. would not be about me.. thus, not have any of my weird little stories or out of the box and most of the time totally unrelated analogies...

This posting would talk about... Things that girls...REALLY... dont know about guys.

1. Guys have this really tiny erogenous zone about the size of a 10-cent coin behind our ears... Nah.. forget about what all those girly magz like CLEO tell you about our erogenous zones... Cause there is only one. Its 5 to 7 inches long.. handsome.? slightly reddish and sometimes angry-looking.. and we prefer you address it as Hulk...Conan.. or mine as 'robbieson'.

2. If we watch the recently shown Channel 8 9pm Chinese Drama "Ren Wo Au You" with you.. it sure as hell aint because of the storyline. The truth is, those hot actresses and swimwear kind of turn us on...(Fiona Xie! though she was crap and didnt get into the top 10 most popular female)

3. Most of us would give up a week's worth of pocket money or pay.... just to see u in ur bra.

4. If any part of ur computer hard-drive contains any important document or precious memories... do urself a favour... save a duplicate copy onto ur CD or whatever storage device and hide it among ur personal drawers. Otherwise, when our buddies sent us or we downloaded any really hot porn flick.. and there is limited space in the drive... we could not think twice about saving it over our anniversary photos or ur final year reports...

5. We masturbate all the time when u're not around.

6. In fact, when no one is looking... our behaviour is pretty much indistinguishable from that of mountain gorillas.

7.We pray that ur birthday or our anniversary doesnt fall on the Champion's League Finals.. or when Arsenal takes on Man Utd... or on the day Stephen Chow's "Kung Fu Hustle" opens in cinemas...

8. Screw the romantic date and meal... or the mood-setting music and atmosphere... if u want to get laid properly.. just tell us. Either that.. or just simply show up.

9. The next time u feel like criticizing us... please remember that... if it doesnt lead to sexual favours... we wouldnt be listening even if we appear to do so.

10. For every stuffed toy, ceramic lovey-dovey figurine or any cute little thingy with a shade of pink u put in our bedrooms... the angle of our erection drops a degree.

11. We have a sense of smell that is over one thousand over times more sensitive than urs... oh.. wait.. i was thinking about dogs.. haa...

Have a nice day!

My Locker Door is Brillant!

2004-12-08T18:51:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. i forgot to mention something. On Monday night.. while i was in camp.. all alone in the privacy of my bunk with a magazine in my hands and the radio blasting away... and no one else is looking... wait..this is conjuring up the wrong image... i should just say...i did something totally Brillant. So brillant that it makes me the E in the equation of E=MC2... which means ... erm.. i dont really remember.. but its supposed to be really brillant... right?

I personalised my locker door. (Chey!)

If u walk into my bunk and take two steps in(3-4 steps if ur strides are tiny), and then turn to ur right... u will see a row of identical boring-looking lockers. But if u did that after monday night.. u will find one of them really brillant.

I did nothing much... except put on a large pin-up from FHM. This is not just another ordinary pin-up u find from a typical issue of FHM.

This one, is a CLASSIC.

The impression it left on us(the guys, that is)... varies on the amount of free-flowing testosterone in our body. Normal guys, once they see that picture again.. will instantly recall that they have seen it in FHM before... As for some skinny and under-nourished ones(usually bespecticled), will vaguely have the impression that they must have seen it somewhere...probably by chance when they walk past the newstands... Those who have no idea and have never seen the picture before... are... either blind(they didnt get the chance!) or belong to another segment of 'guys' who would rather bring an issue of Mens' Health to the toilet..

As for me... i have a really soft spot for that particular picture. The first time i saw that picture... my 'robbieson' uncontrollably sprang into action... with such force.. that it made a loud noise.. kinda of like the sound u hear in cartoons when a character jumps off a diving board. Its terribly embarrassing. (no idea what that diving board noise sounds like.. try read 'spring-onn' really loud and fast) That's right.

Even though the law-of-diminishing-returns applies... 'robbieson' has always reacted whenever i see the picture. And now.. i have it right on my locker door... directly at eye-level... like that Dean Martin song... Aint that a kick in the Head.(the other 'head' that is!!hahaa!)

After that night.. i have noticed that my bunk mates were eyeing it.. and tend to walk a little slower past my locker... Anyway, whenever u happen to walk along the corridors of my bunk.. i wouldnt blame u if u thought the telly's always on and the people inside my bunk were watching the re-runs of the Olympic diving-board competition on repeat mode... i mean.. we're all healthy lads..

"Sppprring-oonnn...sssprringg-onnnn....SPRINGGG-OONNNN!!!!"

Actually, its the pin-up of a certain local actress named Deborah Sim. Yes.. the one who was always raped.. or sexually-abused in every drama/show she acted in.. u know.. And if u're a guy.. i wouldnt have to say more.(i can already hear 'OOrrhh....that picture' in the background... not forgetting...'spring-onn!')

Another Boring Week. Another ATP. Another Cert in the Bag.

2004-12-08T18:32:00.000+08:00

Right.. there is range again and this time around.. they are only sending 6 people from HQ Armceg. And i had to stay in so as to issue and receive arms from this 6 dickheads! (Actually they are very nice people.. so nice dickheads perhaps? But if they are nice.. they should not be called dickheads at all.. but u know.. i had to stay in because of them... so.. they can be dickheads for a while)

Plus there's another range right after Christmas(what a time!)... and i wonder why cant they just go altogether for the one range... instead, they had to go at different timeslots..dickheads... its just so ineconomical and a total waste of manpower. In this case, i am the victim.

Fortunately... there is this lovely Armskoteman Course held at OETI today.. and i got to book out yesterday.. which was lovely. And the course.. hmm... learnt nothing. But it was lovely that i got to lay me hands on 11 different types of weapons... u learn how to perform safety checks... do field-stripping and then assemble them back. Really all sorts of weapons(okay, only 11 of them)... but u can name it and its most probably there...common ones like M16.. SAR21..tiny ones like pistols ... some other really large and heavy ones.. those longer ones look rather proud.. and those which are pretty old are kinda wrinkled though... not fogetting they dont trim the bushes u find at the base... hey wait! what i am talking about!! Haa....

Anyway.. at the end of 8 hours.. i've got this Armskoteman Certificate. Which means i am part of this Elite group of Armskotemen who had gone thru professional training. Which means if i make any mistakes... i wouldnt be able to find any excuses to cover my ass... which.. is pretty shitty... Damn..

Crap Boyfriend Material (Part II)

2004-12-05T19:16:00.000+08:00

Notice: If you havent read the first part of this a little bit lengthy article, you can probably scroll down and find it lying just below this article. And due to the "longer-is-always-better" mentality that we men all have, this article is just as long.. if not longer.. so... if there's a kettle on the stove... wahaha... okay.. i shall spare you from that...

Alright, let me carry on from where i left off.

I've realised, discovered or whatever.. that girls.. dont really like guys. Right, they will agree to go out on dates with us... some are even willing to marry and spend the rest of their lives with us ... but that's mainly because they dont have much of a choice. They pretty much cant register same-sex marriages here in lovely Singapore... and all the Sallies and Janes(they usually have short spiky hair and no boobs and wears baggy gear) out there cant make them pregnant, although some can make them happy and satisfied.

I mean.. really.. if u go think about it.. and the more u do, the more it seems to make sense to you...the fact is that only girls, can make girls happy. U know... Lesbians... they probably dont roll over and fall asleep after engaging in some jiggy fun... and probably, they will cuddle up and talk about their day... how did it go... or engage in small little talks about the latest Korean drama or have one those conversations that take place only in the ladies.. and only god knows what they gossip about in there! (besides the girls themselves)

Apparently, women need that conversation thing, and a lot of that. (Right girls???)

And obviously, men dont.

Now girls.. i shall let u all into the men's world for a little while and tell u why we do some of the things we do.

Ever wondered why we like to take you out to the movies once or twice or thrice a week..depending on how much spare cash we have...or just stay home with u and watch the telly? How about bringing you to the beach and just stare at the lovely stars?

Correct Answer A: We love you.

Correct Answer B: Cause the movie screen.. telly screen.. or even the night-sky filled with stars.... they give us something to stare at. And most importantly, most girls misinterpret our blank stares as evidence that some sort of thought process is going on in our mind and they want to know about it. The girls would imagine we are fantasizing about our lovely relationship.. or how we celebrated our anniversary, which is the happiest day of our lives. Haa.. but that is far from the truth... u want to know what we are actually thinking about????

NOTHING!

When we are in the movies cuddling up as the slides unroll, when we are at home on the sofa enjoying diet coke and skinless chicken breasts, when we are lying beside each other on the beach staring at the stars above as the gentle sea breezes.... in our mind, we are thinking about nothing. If u managed to find a way to take a look into our minds... guess what? u will see nothing... maybe u will see a vast white room... and nothing's inside there... except some FHMs.. dirty laundry... and take-away food boxs...

Now u know why guys always like to take girls to the movies.. or to the beach.. it gives us the opportunity to stare at something for as long as possible.. usually 90 mins that is... where we can avoid all sorts of conversations about feelings.. thoughts.. or whatsoever...

Lastly, the correct Correct Answer... is of course Correct Answer A.

We Love You.

Crap Boyfriend Material (Part I)

2004-12-05T15:29:00.000+08:00

Warning: This article.. is a little bit lengthy... and comes in 2 parts..so it means that it indeed is really lengthy... so if there's a kettle on the stove.. u might want to do something about it... and do switch off the lights when u leave the kitchen if no one else is there. Let's do something about energy conservation. You and I, we all play a part.

Did the usual weekend thing during the weekends again. This time around, watched the flick "Without a Paddle". Pretty good humour.. though some might find it rather low-brow... And the ending's pretty heart-warming.. Then Marche-ed a little and then Arab St-ed a little..

There is something i want to talk about. Unfortunately.. its not about sex or girls.. or sex and girls. Its about relationships.. in particular, BOYFRIENDS. Why so? Cause something happened to my Bro(Weijun) last night. Since i am talking about bfs... u people must be thinking... hhm.. weijun has gotten himself a bf? Yeah... right. (You know all those rumours they have about good looking men and metrosexuals)

For those who has got no idea who hell he is , Weijun is dashing young lad. Had a gigantic following of female fans during his school days... hhmm... when he was in Temasek Poly... he took part in that cheesy Channel U search program and got second place.. or was it third.. And i was there to place coloured balls for him. I still remember my ball was blue. (if i remembered that, i should have got his placing right, right?) Okay... he got second... i think. So, he's been on Tv.. had female fan clubs.. is pretty much a metrosexual... has been on Atten C for months.. In short, he is a dashing young lad. (Go thru my archive... there's a pic of him... somewhere.. think.. september issue.. haa)

Now.. back to the main issue. Weijun had some problems.. am not not going to elaborate on it though, there is such a thing called privacy. (it sounds and look really like piracy though, which i am totally against.. we all really shouldnt download illegal mp3s and movies... u know.. we shouldnt... right, then what do i do with my blistering speed Cable connection? Blog? )

He is a lovely boyfriend.(If u have been reading my blog, u should know that lovely=great or excellent or brillant etc...) Like many others.. i'm really glad to have befriended some of the loveliest boyfriends around... Ziguo is one of them... and so is daniel.. (oh he is engaged.. Congrats!) and there's this yufong.. whom i havent met for ages.. they are all brillant bfs and friends whom i would marry my sis to if they werent attached. (If ur name is not being mentioned here... its not that u're not good.. its just that i have to keep this posting under 427 words... or that u're indeed rubbish)

I mean... those guys treat their gfs... so lovely.. that i would propose to them if i had long pantene hair and wear a skirt. (probably those short denim mini ones.. ohh!!! hot!!! Satan must have invented them to test the mettle of good men everywhere)

Anyway.. i hang around with them.. and u must have heard of the saying.. "Birds of the same feather, flock together" or something like that.. BUT this time around.. its wrong!

I am Crap Boyfriend Material (CBM) and damn proud about it. (Okay, maybe not so) At least i am being myself.. and not putting myself thru some shit that popz my balls or deflats my nutsacks. (u know how demanding and hard to please some girls can get.. i mean.. come on! i honestly do love and care for you! but do i have to do that? why cant i hang out with my mates or do my own thing?)

That is for all the good boyfriends out there.

To be continued... (most probably the posting above would be Part II)

Singapore Idol

2004-12-01T19:29:00.000+08:00

I am about to watch the telly soon...

Singapore Idol.

Taufik Batisah, in my opinion, is really the more complete performer. (we'ill see if he wins)

I love HQ Armceg and Porn.

2004-12-01T18:35:00.000+08:00

Wait... let me clarify the heading first. I love HQ Armceq and Porn.. its the usual way i name my posting.. which means.. its 2 different topics.. 'i love HQ Armceg' by itself.. and then 'Porn'... okay? Now.. u can read on...

2 hours.. that's the amount of time i've spent in camp today. Didnt even have to take over the Armskote at all. And what did i do? Met some highly ranking officers... and made some coffee.. nah.. i didnt even made them.. i just drank some. That's all.

I'm really falling in love with HQ Armceg... i think this is the 4th week of my stint there and today's the 2nd meal outing we're having. The first one was to celebrate several promotions within BTC/VTW.. and today, the passing out of the trainees. As usual... the group of us ordered a truck-load of food, an obscene amount which we already knew we couldnt finish even if we were to eat for our dear lives. Fortunately, we had andrew at our table.

Now let's touch on Andrew. Andrew is a medic... and he is a really really nice fellow. He sleeps in the same bunk as me... even though i seldom see him around when i am there. He plays loads of games.. on the PC..PS.. Gameboy.. and what have u... and he interested in loads of Japanese-related stuff.. like the language itself and the comics..etc...BUT NOT THE PORN. What the hell.. i mean have u ever met a young adult who was never into Japanese porn before in his life? You know.. all the.. uhhh...[Insert your fav Jap porn collection here]

Japan, according to history books.. or was that a legend? oh nvm... was founded in the 660 BC by a certain Emperor named Jimmu... and the japanese... being genetically really creative and short(hhmm...okay, the height has nothing to do with this), led me to assume really boldly that they have created their first porn flick, whether its drawings on the walls like the cavemen... or... hhm.. cant think of anymore, in the first year or two.

Anyway.. the key issue here is... the Japanese first created their kind of porn in around 660 BC... and after 2 thousand over years of Japanese creativity input and most importantly, practice, they created the Japanese Porn of today.

And healthy young adults like Andrew isnt into it. F**k, Can u believe it????

You know... back when i was ten years old... and computers and the internet weren't all over the place yet...i had copies of "Playboy" and other "stroke-mags" hidden in the woods near my house... and most nights, after dinner, i would request permission from my mummy to go bicycle around... and once granted, i would hop onto my bmx... and head straight to the woods to leer at my "magazines". Did i grow up to be a useless citizen who doesnt contribute to the society? Did i molest any 13 year olds? No! In fact, i even scored 241 for my PSLE 2 years later..

Shit, that is a really really terrible example. Okay, i shall take that back... and u people.. please promise me that u have never read that paragraph before.

hhmm... what i really want to say is... we should all make full use of the resources available to us now... and not take anything for granted....u know... crude oil used to be really cheap back then.. and now...the prices soared over US$50 a barrel a few months back due to some unforeseen circumstances..

As the saying goes..."you dont miss the water till the well runs dry..."

Wait... wait.. when i mentioned andrew.. i actually wanted to say that he can really eat alot.. and i think that he has no organs at all.. except a stomach.. when he opens his mouth.. there's no windpipe connected to the throat.. straight away u see the stomach...which is then linked directly to the u know what... i think!

Lastly... I am beginning to think what Andrew... is a Liar... what do u mean that u are not into Japanese Porn.. Liar! Liar! Pants on fire...

Yesterday was My Birthday.

2004-11-29T23:33:00.000+08:00

28th of November, aka Yesterday, was My Birthday. I was born on that very day 21 years ago. For your information, i am a mixed.. or better known as 'hoon xue er'... come on.. think a little bit.. mixed what with what... (with prizes up for grabs! honest!)

Answer.

I am mixed Clementi with Changi... my dad hails from the former and my mum was brought up in the latter. (Come on! Still considered mixed-blood right?)

okay.. enough of that shit... haa.. yesterday was really lovely. Received loads of wishes via smses from old friends.. new friends.. and not so old and not so new friends. Well.. got some really lovely surprises too... On the whole.. the day was lovely. Thanks everyone! (Everyone as in those involved.. not u.. sitting on the couch doing nothing!)

When the clock struck 12... i was in the movies.. watching this 'dont tell anyone that i've actually watched this show' show known as the Polar Express, with dont know how many Tommy Hanky. The show makes me feel as though its my 5th Birthday!! But i was watching it with my good old mates... and when it turned 12... they started sending lovely happy birthday smses to me in unison... even though they were just seated beside me.. i thought they were lovely.

And after that.. they got me to Sweden's and prepared a lovely cake for me. Oohh.. such a lovely surpise...and they are such lovely old mates.. Ziguo..Weijun.. Weisheng.. Ah Gump.. Alvin... and their lovely gfs.. (if any of them are still single... i would definately offer my teenage sister to them... for marriage.. or even as an act of goodwill... i would!)

After all these lovely years... I've realised that Friendship is the Single Greatest Thing on Earth...besides.. Girls.. money.. fast cars.. love.. dreams coming true...deadlifts.. sexual fantasies... good grades... great food.. porn... etc.. etc. (not particularly in that order though!!)

Speaking of which.. their gfs all wish me a Happy Birthday and Please go get a GF! Haa... seems like i'm the only one who's single in that group... (why cant i be? i love that!)

And speaking of Birthday Wishes... i've made a couple... no.. a few... okay, actually i've made a lot. Haa.. this is one of the cases where quantity might translate into quality... honest! Its like.. if u've made 427 wishes.. and only 49% come true.. its still better than if u've made only 3 but all came true... u get what i mean??

Haa.. anyway.. i am happy and still open to Birthday Wishes from those who hasnt sent them.. and heck... even strangers i've never met... its a quantity over quality thingy.. and its true! And its damn lovely.

Thank a million.

Saving Private XXX and Regular Updates Promised (RUP)

2004-11-29T22:11:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. i 've been missing in action.. yet again. But i am promising more regular updates.. expressing and sharing me thoughts here makes me feel good.. so feel free to make comments.. i love them... especially positive ones.. or was that only.. haha...

But i do have me reasons... the past 2 weeks had been slightly busy... you know.. once u're in the army.. ur brain is progressively being de-conditioned.. u dont have to think much.. if at all... then all of a sudden.. u have something to do and think about.. u take some time to actually do and think about how u're going to start doing and think about what u are going to do...(dont get it? nvm.. that's not so important)

An example of how The Army aka 'the decisive force' make the 427 decisions and take the thinking of out Private XXX.

Below, is a true story... the name of Private XXX has been altered to protect the innocent.. but mainly to shield the guilty.... Although he is just a private... he is actually an "officer-at-heart"... haa.. plus he's really a nice lad.. 6 feet tall if he tips his toes.... easily benches 185 for reps.... scored 241 for his PSLE... can pull his chin over the bar 18 times at a ago....okay.. i shall not reveal too much before u guys might have the slightly hint of who he is.

As uou know.. he starts his day by getting out of bed at the same time.. and then shower-time.. and then he touch this touch that (chinese saying, okay!) ....and then he open his cupboard.... thiinking to himself.. "hhmm... what to wear? what to wear?" Then it struck him that he is actually staring at 5 sets of the same uniform... (at least there are 5 sets to choose from...)

Then he goes to the same bus-stop.. sees the same people and takes the same bus... so that he will reach the camp at the same time... then he will do the same things... (if u've counted... i've probably used the word 'same' 427 times!)

Then its lunch-time.. he then tries to add some variety to his day by taking another route to the cookhouse, hoping to see new faces.. different sceneries..... okay, actually its the same route... pass the parade square and then purposely make a long detour around the admin block.. so that hopefully he can catch a glimpse of that hot female clerk which he failed to see yesterday.. and the day before... and the day before the day before yesterday... haa!

And when he reaches the cookhouse.. and he doesnt have to think of what to eat.. he just joins the line and see what they throw onto his plate.. and of course.. he always smile at the uncle dishing out the meat.. usually chicken wing.. fried fish slices.. or chicken wing.. or just pork cubes... or chicken wing, u know... as a result of his blatantly-fake-used-car-salesman-smile... he usually have more meat on plate than.. say... some african fugutive... or 13 year old teenage girl... (he simply likes that feeling... biting off more than u can chew kind of feeling..)

and yah... finally something different for a day...he spotted Piere Png at the cookhouse once! For ur information, he's just only a corporal (girls, in ur fantasies he must be some officer right??)... okay.. actually he's quite high ranked... urs truly is just a private... just like ryan in THAT movie... and he looks exactly the way he looks on the telly... which is great.

That's about it.. and its only half of the day gone... if i were to describe the rest of his typical day.. i would add that i simply bust my ass... doing work and when i am done.. i do more work... and then i do other people's work too... hahaa.. right... yeah right!

Oh no.... i meant him... not me. (u guys know that, right?)

Another normal week and being Skinny.

2004-11-19T18:41:00.000+08:00

This week flew by just like that.. with half of the lovely nights trapped in camp due to the ongoing range and my position as the Armskoteman. Nothing much happened this week and I dont remember doing anything this week... uh... except playing footie for the 1st time in ages and scoring with a neat header!

I love headed goals...I love scoring them myself. .. I love watching them being scored on the telly... I love to score them when I play Winning Eleven with my 1.9m and above squad with totally no pace(not even pounding on the R1 helps)... and I would love to score with that lovely neighbour I sometimes see when I take the lift. (Perhaps I should post an entry just about her... anybody interested in reading? Haa)

And on my way home today... two ladies were talking about losing weight and 'firming' up their bodies. I wasnt eavesdropping... honest.. I just so happened to be seated behind them on the bus. I also switched off my receiver and left my ear-phones on. (if u dont look like u're eavesdropping.. u're most probably not!)

They mentioned their secret-behind-closed-doors sit-ups before they go to bed.. and how they not consume any food once the sun has set..(Directly opposite of what our friendly Malay neighbours are doing) and etc... and it completely expose their total lack of knowledge about the human body and how it operates...

I really felt like tapping their shoulders and then educate them a little... in exchange for sexual favours..(hahaa! Of course I am kidding!)

But I didnt have to.... cause from the looks of it... both of them are genetically thin. And genes alone... determine roughly 70% of how one will look like. A hippo that eats and exercises like a rabbit... will nonetheless still look like a hippo! Its ears will never grow longer and fur wouldnt spout out from no-where...erm....I mean.. it will not look like a rabbit....u know....

Okay, actually I didn't do that.... because I was supposed to be tuning in to my receiver.... not their conversation!

Anyway... having been a skinny bastard for most of my life until I met weight lifting and nutrition....I wouldnt say that being skinny doesnt have its benefits.... and well....here are 5 of them:-

1) No one tries to steal ur watch... when u're wearing it up near ur elbows..

2) The skinner u are, the larger and more soulful your eyes will look. You could be sitting in Starbucks writing an email begging ur CSM to give u another day's off and the woman at the next table will assume that u are composing a song about her.

3) You and ur gf would be perfectly comfortable on ur single bed when ur room's door is locked. A queen sized bed would be like an aircraft carrier.

4) She never complains if u're on top. (hehee)

5) If u want to shut people up.... just tell them that u're trying to lose weight. They will be speechless for the next 5 mins.

2004-11-13T17:39:00.000+08:00

Just before we end the day..

2004-11-13T17:38:00.000+08:00

This looks like some cheesy manufactured boyband album cover pic...

2004-11-13T17:36:00.000+08:00

Group picture...with MingThai in 'sir-nan-di-ri' position.

2004-11-13T17:33:00.000+08:00

Siyuan and Me... and did u see that? did u?

2004-11-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

Me and MingThai.. cant help but notice his gold chain...

2004-11-13T17:30:00.000+08:00

Me and Gilbert... with his Baywatch David Hasselhoff trunks. (without the constant erection, of course)

2004-11-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

Gilbert and MingThai... and i dont know about Gil's sleazy smile and what his finger is actually pointing at...

2004-11-13T17:26:00.000+08:00

Travis and i... openly expressing our 'affection'.

2004-11-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

this is travis.. i am really taking a picture of him.. honest!

I am Hooked...

2004-11-11T18:41:00.000+08:00

I am hooked... hooked like the carnivorous 2.2 pound tilapia, which has just bitten onto the bait set by the singlet-sporting lau-ah-peh at bedok jetty... or hooked like the ugly sexually-devoid virgin, who has just given her newly purchased vibrator(aka best friend) a 'test-run'... or hooked like the pig-tailed half-naked China men wearing black cloth shoes in the 18th century, when evil British mechants imported opium from India into China...

Okay, in short, i am hooked. (Actually u just have to read the first few lines)

Guess... guess.. assume.. a little bit.. hooked to what?

A Girl? hhm.. that hasnt happened for a long time(fiona xie doesnt count..right? and there's also Jamie.. and...oh nvm!)

Arggh.. i am going for dinner soon so i will keep this a little bit brief. (brief because i dont like the word 'short'.. cause i am 'long'.. u can call that lengthism) Well, I am hooked onto this PS2 game, Tiger Wood's PGA Tour 2005!

Its really a brillant game.. its just like an actual game of GOLF.(gentlemen only ladies forbidden). Where else can i get the highs and lows of that lovely game when my dad hasnt struck the lottery just yet and myself having problems making up my mind on which sugar-mummy to sign for.

The game indeed is brillant.. and when i am playing it, i got so engrossed that i didnt even noticed there was a burglar stealing the dinning table, refrigerator, home furniture etc when i stayed up late one night for gaming... only when he tried to move the TV then i realised that there was a break-in!

Well, the break in never actually happened but the game is that brillant!

And that explains the lack of new postings in my man-blog... and unfortunately the traffic fell too.. i'm depressed...people dont love me anymore.. and my birhtday is coming (28th Nov)....hint hint...

Anyway.. those people who still enjoy reading my man-blog and love me.. Please leave a name and drop me a line.. i love u too!

And wait...did i say the game was brillant?